Happiness

Emotion helps us to know what and why we are feeling, there are many different type of emotions but today I am going to talk about Happiness. Happiness is one of the best emotion loved by almost everyone. And the good think about this emotion is that it starts from one person and can spread to the one close to them as well. Yes it is contagious, which is atleast in this case is good.

Remember that one day when you were just so tired and just wanted to get home and the person sitting next to you in tram/train or in next car gave you that smile and it totally cheered you up? I do.

It was not long ago when I moved to Melbourne in 2006, I was homesick, tired and hungry. Travelling in tram I was almost ready to shed tears and than I realized this man looking at me. I had my sad face on and the moment I saw him he spread his smile and it suddenly filled me with happiness. Just like Poppy says in Trolls movie that happiness is in inside all of us we just need to find it.

 

Sometimes I find it in my daughters smile or sometimes in her play. It doesn't mean I haven't had the days when nothing seems right and I doubt my abilities of a mother, but that's life. In this scenario I don't even think it makes a difference that I am a Single Parent or no, as every other person go through this, we cant do anything about it. Some people feel happy by making others feel low, that's the meanest thing someone can do, but unfortunately people like that do exist.

 

Lets move on and try spreading a smile around us and make this world better place to live. Not everyone is going to give you a smile back but even if you get few smiles back that will make your and that person's day. Have a wonderful day. :)

 

Comments are Welcome.. xoxx

Hold on to your Dreams....

Ever since we are born, we become our parents dream and they set some rules and boundaries for us to shape and help us grow into a better person, which allows us to either fulfil their dream or our dream. Thankfully I have become one of those people I would like myself to be.

 

Even when my marriage broke down 95% of people disappeared from my life. It would be wrong if I say it didn't hurt me, but I was already broken with my marriage so it didn't gave me much of a shock. Then there were those people who started attracting to me mostly because I was in same situation like them, being a divorcee. Some became really good friends and some just stayed for awhile and then disappeared. Even in the church I used to go, I became a Hot Topic after my divorce, people wanted to interact either to gossip or for a marriage proposal with someone with no visa, once I made it clear that I was not interested than all the people disappeared.

 

My life has always been like a up down hill road, one comes and one is ready to leave. But ironically it never happened with a partner, I wish it did, lol.. ;) I always dreamed of a good looking guy with killing looks coming my way, but it never even happened. I am no Miss Universe so I guess I over expected from my dream man as well, but I must say I did got many proposals from which mostly were due to Residency purpose. As I am citizen and many Indian guys are here on either no visa or struggling to extend there visa, they will truly even marry a 60 year old, so I am certainly a better option. I have spoken to a guy once who was only interested in going to a lawyer to discuss his residency after getting married to me, and didn't even asked me one question about myself, and that was it, I said NO. I still believe that one day my prince charming will come and fit in my life like a puzzle does, that day all the wrongs will become right and all the sadness will turn into happiness.

 

I have passed 30 years in struggling but still believing that good thing happens to good people, I do loose my hope every now and then, but always happy with whatever decisions I make. But on those dark days when I am super low and see no light at the end of the tunnel, I have wonderful friends/family + super gorgeous daughter who makes me see my dreams again.

 

Help ... Does it even exits???

Before becoming a mother my life was quite different and never had to think about having someone's responsibility or how to get through one day at time. Life was about planning weeks and months in advance. But now its the other way around, not only I have two little eyes looking upon me for everything also I am only worried about one day at a time that is today.

When i think about help than things like cleaning, washing, getting a job comes to my mind, life is changed now and so has its meaning. I am an Offspring lover (for those who don't know its a television soap i love to watch), when i see Neena struggling alone with stuff being a single mother but still doing a great job as being a Mum. Other than this all being a scripted series i still love watching it. Certain things i can relate to my life but others are too good to be true. Life give you several ups and downs and all you need to do is take it as it comes. Sometimes i feel like do we even have a choice? and the truth is NO. We dont have a choice, as we cant go and chance the present or future.

I have been raising my little one by myself since she was 2 months old. My family has been there emotionally but other than that no one ever helped and the harsh truth is no one even offered. I cant totally blame them as I was very much into being an Independent single mum, but that doesn't mean i wouldn't have loved some help. Same goes with the friends, they were there and still are but mostly are even scared to offer some help.

If i move to job hunting its another heartbroken game for me. From last one month i have received not even one single call but have received many emails about my application being unsuccessful. I even asked my friends who are at good positions in good companies, but i wasn't surprised when they couldn't help, as that is how my life has been so far. But never say never, i still have hope and will figure out something and eventually will have a job that i deserve.


Here is a thumbs up to all the wonderful single mums looking for work. Keep on trying, good things will come your way eventually. The road is hard and very disheartening but we have to keep on walking on it because of our little ones. Good luck :)

Motherhood for a Single Parent

When anyone starts to plan a baby, all the thoughts and expectation are usually positive. Being a mum is a miracle and not everyone can enjoy this wonderful thing, but it also come with some drawbacks. Just like everyone when I was expecting, I had all this thoughts about how will i raise my little one and what all i will do for her, but somehow reality is totally different. I received many messages about how motherhood is different if you are a single parent and also regarding how I cope with day to day struggles. And if you are someone like me who have no family/relatives/friends to help around, than a bit salute to you my friend, its hard very hard and not everyone can get it plus not every can do it. So this blog is dedicated to those mums asking me questions regarding what i do to go through a normal busy day. 

First of all everyday is different, i cannot sum-up a formula which will work everyday to not loose your sanity. I am not super-woman, even i loose it sometimes, but then i just remind myself that regardless how crap i am feeling, this little person needs me and only got me for everything, and somehow this does help me bring back a smile on my face. Some mums are blessed with calm kids, I am not one of them, my little bundle of joy is actually a bundle of too much energy. Regardless how busy i make her, she still find ways to make me tired. By end of the day i am tired and longing for a quite time for myself. One more thing that i have seen has worked so far is by only worrying about present. This not only helps you to relax but also takes pressure out to make things happen in advance.

Never compare your kid, every child is different regardless of age and height. Never put that pressure in your head about how your kid is performing at school, as long as the child is doing his/her best in studies and not hitting or bullying someone. 

Teach your child to share and be nice to others, it will take time and some kids will understand in one go and others will take you to repeat quite a few times before they will start doing it. Repeat yourself again and again in front of them, do not keep a count of how many times you have done that already, lol. Some mums will tel you about how they told their kid once and ever since then they are behaving great, ignore them, every child is different. Don't focus on time out, instead focus on the positive behavior and it will help you to be positive.

Last but not the least, when you child is having a tantrum or just being a tough-child, remind yourself your age. This will not only remind you that how big age difference you have with your child but also give you few seconds to calm down and trust me you will act way better to your child's behavior after this. If its normal for you to loose yourself even being in your 30's than its quite normal for a child with age 10 times less than you to loose it as well. Your little one is still learning to cope with the everyday situations and as well as to control his/her emotions, you are their primary source and teacher.

To sum up, not everything will work fantastic everyday, Its normal to have few tantrums and upset moments during the day, its life. When its night and your little one is asleep plus you get your suite time, in 5 minutes you will miss that little person running around you. Every night when my daughter falls asleep, I thank God for another wonderful day and to help me cope with it.

Love them, hug them, always remember there are some who cant have them and you are lucky to be blessed with one.

Have a wonderful day with your bub.. You are doing the best for your bub.

Will look forward to your comments and messages...

:)

Marriage Money Life Friendship

Once upon a time marriage was an agreement between two people written with love and taken oath in front of God to celebrate that they will live together for rest of their life. With the time passing by and this eager of every human being to be successful and have more in life has changed the value of marriage. Since childhood I had this image in my heart that two people meet fall in love and get to live together and we call it marriage. But when it came to my marriage I was taking in lots of new information like marriage is more like an agreement to make sure you are secured in each and every way (financially/security) for rest of the life, in marriage a guy is always right (according to my x-inlaws, that's why they are X)

Even though my marriage didn't last long but it does gave me lots of information about living with a Guy, which is nothing like how i imagined it to be, plus money matters. Yes, it does. I know many wouldn't like my view on this particular thought, but that is what I have experienced. I am not just talking about my relation, but also including many different couples whom I have closely noticed. Lets talk about this deeply.

First I would like to talk about what goes through the guys mind, if the girl is educated good, but if girl is educated plus from a good background (financially) then its a Yes ofcourse. I have seen guys who used to be a lover to every second girl, to change into a homely guy just after marriage. Yes there are some rare cases where people change, but when person change due to love than you can see the difference in their behavior for everyone not just one person, as person who change inside will also change outside. I just cant believe that a person can be only respectful to one and not for rest of the world. What is different if a girl parents has money? she just becomes more valuable? Some of these married guys just make me feel sorry for the girl, as all they talk about is money, Has money taken over Love? All that matters is Materialistic life? 

Moreover they only want to be involved with people with contacts and money, they got all the time for those people, but if someone who unfortunately no longer has anything to offer them, then they are too busy. I didnt learned my lesson in a day,  it took me awhile to see the difference. Means if i had money and contacts than they would come to me as well, but I am glad that I dont and so should all of you if you have ever felt like that. If someone choose  money over you than it is just not worth it to have that person in your life. I do understand some people we cant just delete and throw in recycle bin, but we can step away from them. Better to be with less people but those who dont care and showoff. 

I am very thankful to those few friends, who not only stand by me but are there for all ups and downs in my life. 

Have a wonderful day. :)

Smile Can take you a Long Way..

Today when I went for grocery shopping somehow in one aisle there were too many people with trolleys and I stopped for four of them from which one was staff member bringing stock. But out of those four people only one lady appreciated that I gave them away and said thank you to me. Rest of the three had a blank face, not even a single smile. For the rest of the day I couldn't stop thinking that what has overcome our mind that we are so stressed through out the whole day that we don't even have time to relax? And more over have we got no ethics or respect for others?

When I came to Melbourne 10 years ago it used to be the most friendly place, but things have slowly slowly changed. I did spend 2 years in Sydney where I realized that Sydney is not as friendly as Melbourne, but are we becoming like that as well? Does it really takes too much of our precious time to give a smile to someone? I am someone who usually have a smily face, and like to look at others with a bright face, but I don't get a smile back always. May be what I do is not normal for other people, I might be a freak who smiles without any reason. But I like to be happy and that's what has helped me so far even in my bad times, through my separation/divorce and every up and down.


A smile can take you a long way and that has definitely worked in my life. Giving a smile to someone is like giving a helping hand to someone without even realizing, I remember when I was a newbie here in Australia and was badly struggling with home sickness, a complete stranger gave me that very well needed dose of Smile, while I was sitting with a sad face in tram. I cant thank enough that stranger as with one smile he made me realize that life will never be great, something will always be missed. You can never fulfill all of your dreams, sometimes your priorities change and sometimes with time your dream will change, but as long as you learn to live in the moment nothing can take you down.


I might not have a show off apartment or car like other people, but I am content and happy. I have something which you cant buy with money, a freedom, a beautiful daughter and everyday to look forward to. I have seen many struggling in getting that bigger house or that bigger car and missing out on the simple things and enjoying it with family and close friends.


Lets start thanking for little things in life, appreciate that you wokeup this morning and you have food on the table and roof on top. These might be very normal things for you but for  many these basic necessities are the top priorities.


Last but not the least, My Motto.. A Smile can take you a Long Way.. :)


Thank you for reading, Have a wonderful smiling day..

Being a Super Mum aka Being a 100% Parent

When we become parents, we tend to have this expectation from ourself to give the best and 100% to our kids. And when time pass we do try to make it happen for our kids, but like me there are many parents who tend to think every night that today would have been abit more better if a certain incident wouldn't have occurred. From certain incident I mean things like a tantrum where child was bit over tired, etc. If you are one of those parents who go into guilt when something goes wrong or when you were alittle harsh on your little one where you could have been super calmed according to the various articles and parenting tips, I know what you feel, I have been there.

Even though all the parenting tips and articles are a huge help when your moral is low and you need some positive feedback plus just to know there are more parents like you who go through such things, they are not always written by a parent. Every child is different and so does every parent. Doesn't mean that any parent want abit less for their child but still its different when you hear it from a parent or someone who have done loads of study on that topic. As theory wise it makes sense and feels doable, but when you are a parent in that particular situation than the theory makes no sense.

Just like today we had an awesome day, we went to park and than to my little one's friends house for a play date, but by the time I realized she was too tired it was too late. As she was abit restless and crying due to little things, and me trying to make her understand that she is tired and we have to go home to rest didn't make any sense to my DD. According to kids its impossible for them to get tired, and no way they want to miss out on all the play and excitement by having a nap. Our so called good day came to an end with she crying over little things and me trying to drag her to the car so we could get home and she could have alittle rest. We were home in 5 minutes and in next 5 minutes she was already asleep, I must mention when we got home she still wanted to play more with Lego, but I told her off in a firm voice and asked her to lay down in bed. With my denial she got big fat tears in her eyes, which like always broke my heart again but I knew the best thing was to be firm and make her rest and hopefully she will fall asleep. Before I knew she was asleep.

Today was suppose to be a great day according to my expectation, but it wasn't as my DD ended up crying and I feel like a failure, but now when she is asleep all I can think of is that the most important thing is that even though she did got over tired and had a cry, but I learned something from today and may be I will be able to recognize her tiredness much better next time. But above all I did it again, I expected again that I can be a 100% wonderful parent. Where as the truth is if you get a day even 50% great being a parent, then that is beyond any calculation. Less you expect, more you will give. All we need to remind ourself is that they are little and there will be few cries during the day, but all that matters is that how many smiles you had.

Everyday is a new adventure with your little one, no one said it will be a plain road all the times, there will be few bumps here and there, but all that matters it that the adventure you had will give you and your little one great memories for life long. So stop trying to be a super mum and just get along, make few mistakes and then learn from them. Remember when you fall and stand up that will teach your little one that its ok to fall sometimes, but also give them courage to stand up tall again. Be a mentor to your kids, practice what you preach and always remember you are world to your little one.

This one for my little gorgeous DD, whom I love to Moon and back.. <3

Thanks for reading.

:)