Hold on to your Dreams....

Ever since we are born, we become our parents dream and they set some rules and boundaries for us to shape and help us grow into a better person, which allows us to either fulfil their dream or our dream. Thankfully I have become one of those people I would like myself to be.

 

Even when my marriage broke down 95% of people disappeared from my life. It would be wrong if I say it didn't hurt me, but I was already broken with my marriage so it didn't gave me much of a shock. Then there were those people who started attracting to me mostly because I was in same situation like them, being a divorcee. Some became really good friends and some just stayed for awhile and then disappeared. Even in the church I used to go, I became a Hot Topic after my divorce, people wanted to interact either to gossip or for a marriage proposal with someone with no visa, once I made it clear that I was not interested than all the people disappeared.

 

My life has always been like a up down hill road, one comes and one is ready to leave. But ironically it never happened with a partner, I wish it did, lol.. ;) I always dreamed of a good looking guy with killing looks coming my way, but it never even happened. I am no Miss Universe so I guess I over expected from my dream man as well, but I must say I did got many proposals from which mostly were due to Residency purpose. As I am citizen and many Indian guys are here on either no visa or struggling to extend there visa, they will truly even marry a 60 year old, so I am certainly a better option. I have spoken to a guy once who was only interested in going to a lawyer to discuss his residency after getting married to me, and didn't even asked me one question about myself, and that was it, I said NO. I still believe that one day my prince charming will come and fit in my life like a puzzle does, that day all the wrongs will become right and all the sadness will turn into happiness.

 

I have passed 30 years in struggling but still believing that good thing happens to good people, I do loose my hope every now and then, but always happy with whatever decisions I make. But on those dark days when I am super low and see no light at the end of the tunnel, I have wonderful friends/family + super gorgeous daughter who makes me see my dreams again.

 

Marriage Money Life Friendship

Once upon a time marriage was an agreement between two people written with love and taken oath in front of God to celebrate that they will live together for rest of their life. With the time passing by and this eager of every human being to be successful and have more in life has changed the value of marriage. Since childhood I had this image in my heart that two people meet fall in love and get to live together and we call it marriage. But when it came to my marriage I was taking in lots of new information like marriage is more like an agreement to make sure you are secured in each and every way (financially/security) for rest of the life, in marriage a guy is always right (according to my x-inlaws, that's why they are X)

Even though my marriage didn't last long but it does gave me lots of information about living with a Guy, which is nothing like how i imagined it to be, plus money matters. Yes, it does. I know many wouldn't like my view on this particular thought, but that is what I have experienced. I am not just talking about my relation, but also including many different couples whom I have closely noticed. Lets talk about this deeply.

First I would like to talk about what goes through the guys mind, if the girl is educated good, but if girl is educated plus from a good background (financially) then its a Yes ofcourse. I have seen guys who used to be a lover to every second girl, to change into a homely guy just after marriage. Yes there are some rare cases where people change, but when person change due to love than you can see the difference in their behavior for everyone not just one person, as person who change inside will also change outside. I just cant believe that a person can be only respectful to one and not for rest of the world. What is different if a girl parents has money? she just becomes more valuable? Some of these married guys just make me feel sorry for the girl, as all they talk about is money, Has money taken over Love? All that matters is Materialistic life? 

Moreover they only want to be involved with people with contacts and money, they got all the time for those people, but if someone who unfortunately no longer has anything to offer them, then they are too busy. I didnt learned my lesson in a day,  it took me awhile to see the difference. Means if i had money and contacts than they would come to me as well, but I am glad that I dont and so should all of you if you have ever felt like that. If someone choose  money over you than it is just not worth it to have that person in your life. I do understand some people we cant just delete and throw in recycle bin, but we can step away from them. Better to be with less people but those who dont care and showoff. 

I am very thankful to those few friends, who not only stand by me but are there for all ups and downs in my life. 

Have a wonderful day. :)

Broken Marriage

If we talk about a romantic movie or a television series, than marriage seems an easy way out of all the problems, where both partner help each other through tough times and still are able to love and care for each other. But for me marriage was being in a trap where I was always being judged and mistreated. I must say it was my fault that I let it happened for so long with me and never told my parents about what was going on behind the walls. My marriage lasted for 1 year, thankfully I was able to get myself free from the trap and fly again in the shining sky, but when I read news about other women going through the same thing, I feel the pain and wish I could help someone in someway.

It was a normal day here in Melbourne, when as usual my parents started talking about how it is important at my age to find a right partner and settle down. In India, the right time to get married is when the girl become above 25 of age. I luckily belong to a family where the age is 25 for girls, unfortunately in some families if girl is above 18 they are ready for marriage. My parents never forced me into anything, so even though I was not entirely sure to get married I did said yes to meet and talk to few guys they had chosen for me, and they were already in Australia so it was easy to meet up as well.

First time when I called, he seemed a-bit arrogant but within 1-2 minutes talk his voice changed and was talking to me very nicely and softly. So I though may be he was also nervous like me as it was an arrange thing by parents. As the time passed we talked more on phone and about our likes/dislikes, everything seemed normal. He was a normal looking guy, but I wasn't looking for Tom Cruise either, so if everything was not excellent than it wasn't less from being good. We had few meetings and he seemed like a romantic guy, he used to drive all the way from Sydney to Melbourne to see me. One thing I missed was that he always used to answer the phone away from me, and whenever he was on phone he always had this angry face. But as-if I couldn't hear anything so I didn't judged him, which I should have as he had a very bad temper.

Things were going smooth and I didn't actually find any reason to say no to him, so I said yes to my parents. It wasn't long after that yes that he started showing his true colors. First thing he did was he bought a new phone for me with a new number on his name, which I though was very sweet as he wanted to give me something as a present. It was a plan to trap me, so that he can keep an eye on whom I call and text. I didn't came to know all about this after marriage when we started fighting about silly things. Anyway, coming back to the part where we flew to India to get married. All was fine other than that from 2-3 days we didn't talked as he said he was out partying with his friends before marriage and I didn't mind as I was a party lover myself.

Marriage went smooth and as our tradition after marriage I went to his house. After two days he had a huge fight with his own mom. I still don't know the reason of the fight but he spoke to his mum very rudely, that was one more clue for me but I didn't understood it that time. In my experience I have seen that a guy who mistreats his own mum can never respect his own wife or partner. After being in India for few days we came back. I came back to Melbourne and he went to Sydney as he was from Sydney. I was waiting to get my transfer done so that I can also move to Sydney. And when I finally did moved, it is when the nightmare started. As-if he was waiting for me to be in his full control and than only he showed his real face.

He used to fight for each and every little thing. I sometimes felt as if I am the worst person on the earth. All I did for one year was to please him and make him happy, but I was wrong. that's not how marriage works. Marriage is both ways, in my case only one understood the meaning and other one was just busy controlling. I being an Indian, always learned that a girl has to do everything to make his life with his husband well. I tried was I was taught and learned so far from my childhood. But some men can not be satisfied with anything. And he also had a long time girl friend, when I came to know about it than it was just a dead relation. I was expecting by then, it was the last chance I gave him to be sensible and run his own family. He never did what it takes a man to run a family.

Shortly after my little one was born, I left him. I left that Jail,
- where I was questioned 100 times a day
- where he used to keep an eye on my calling list and fight with me if I forget to tell him that I called someone
- where I wasn't allowed to talk to my family and friends
- where I wasn't allowed to leave home without him
- where I wasn't allowed to eat without him
- where I was always judged
- where I was always compared to others
- where I was never being loved
- where I forgot how to smile
- where I wasn't able to look at my own face in the mirror, as I use to feel pity on myself.

Now when I look back I think why I gave him that 1 year of my life which I will never get back. But then I see my gorgeous little one and I smile, as she is what I got from that one horrible broken marriage. In last 3 years, she has helped me to be myself and love life and get back to myself.
She is the reason I am happy and content. Now when I see mirror I don't see a girl who is trapped or feels sorry for her life, I see a Mother who loves her little one. My little on is my savior.

I do have a Broken Marriage, but I have a wonderful future ahead with my little one. I have hope and faith on myself. I have LOVE..

Based on my true life experience.
Thanks for reading. :)