Marriage Money Life Friendship

Once upon a time marriage was an agreement between two people written with love and taken oath in front of God to celebrate that they will live together for rest of their life. With the time passing by and this eager of every human being to be successful and have more in life has changed the value of marriage. Since childhood I had this image in my heart that two people meet fall in love and get to live together and we call it marriage. But when it came to my marriage I was taking in lots of new information like marriage is more like an agreement to make sure you are secured in each and every way (financially/security) for rest of the life, in marriage a guy is always right (according to my x-inlaws, that's why they are X)

Even though my marriage didn't last long but it does gave me lots of information about living with a Guy, which is nothing like how i imagined it to be, plus money matters. Yes, it does. I know many wouldn't like my view on this particular thought, but that is what I have experienced. I am not just talking about my relation, but also including many different couples whom I have closely noticed. Lets talk about this deeply.

First I would like to talk about what goes through the guys mind, if the girl is educated good, but if girl is educated plus from a good background (financially) then its a Yes ofcourse. I have seen guys who used to be a lover to every second girl, to change into a homely guy just after marriage. Yes there are some rare cases where people change, but when person change due to love than you can see the difference in their behavior for everyone not just one person, as person who change inside will also change outside. I just cant believe that a person can be only respectful to one and not for rest of the world. What is different if a girl parents has money? she just becomes more valuable? Some of these married guys just make me feel sorry for the girl, as all they talk about is money, Has money taken over Love? All that matters is Materialistic life? 

Moreover they only want to be involved with people with contacts and money, they got all the time for those people, but if someone who unfortunately no longer has anything to offer them, then they are too busy. I didnt learned my lesson in a day,  it took me awhile to see the difference. Means if i had money and contacts than they would come to me as well, but I am glad that I dont and so should all of you if you have ever felt like that. If someone choose  money over you than it is just not worth it to have that person in your life. I do understand some people we cant just delete and throw in recycle bin, but we can step away from them. Better to be with less people but those who dont care and showoff. 

I am very thankful to those few friends, who not only stand by me but are there for all ups and downs in my life. 

Have a wonderful day. :)

What is Respect???

Ever since our childhood, we have always been taught by our parents to respect others. But as the time passes and we go from childhood to adulthood, some of us tend to forget the real meaning of Respect. Respect doesn't mean taking crap from the other person and still not talking back. It means to give respect to the other person and his/her reactions as well as respecting yourself, means to have self-respect and realizing when you have had enough with the person giving you headache. It could be a friend, relative or a partner, we have to set limits for our-selves and stick to that. This way we not only gain self-respect but we also respect the other person by letting them go, because if they are being dis-respectful to you, then clearly you been having fights/ arguments with the person on a routine basis, ending up with a damaged relationship.

Let's look into this a bit deeper. When we are toddlers then we always have our parents to protect us from kids or persons, whom they think can harm or hurt us in someway. That is the way how parents show love and care by looking after what we do and with whom we interact. And even till teenage and adulthood, they always give their feedback about our friends or the group we go out or spend time with. Being a child we always disagree with them, sometimes due to generation gap and sometimes just because we cannot see their point of view. The way parents see things is quiet different from ours, as they have seen world and experienced more ups and downs than us, and being a parent their reaction is always to warn us about what could possibly go wrong. It's normal for a child to not listen to the parents. But that's one way how parents show their respect to us, by showing us the right way but still not being pushy. The way we can show respect to our parents is by listening to them, and even if we don't 100% agree to what they say, still giving a thought to what they tried to explain to us. It will help you open up your mind to more possibilities.

Another way we gain and give respect is being good friends with each other and always offering a helping hand. I must warn you, just like any other relation, you will see many people in friendship will often respect you when they need something, or when they want things to happen in certain way that is promising to them. But, not all fingers are the  same, so you should be good to others and show respect and care. Worry about who is good to you. If someone is consistently being mean to you, and I must add that if they swear on you in someway, then, give them a few chances to save your friendship. But in my general experience, the person who will swear or abuse you in any way once will continue to do that as no-one can change their inherent nature.

Yes we can change our perspective about few people depending upon the situations. For example, if someone is going through a hard time then it's easy for others to judge them, as they don't know how it's like to be in the other one's shoe. But once the hard time is over, many a times, you can see this wonderful person behind the walls whom you can absolutely enjoy being friends with. On the other hand for people who are always in some rage or anger or abusive or swearing, you can't expect much from them, as they have no control on themselves. And they can spit it out anywhere and in front of anyone. By giving them more and more chances you are just losing your own self-respect. Specially for mums, as this kind of behavior could be bad for a child who is still growing and leaning. My advise is, stay away from such people, as its not worth it for one good moment you want to spoil another moment.

Respect is always both ways. You can easily gain it by giving, but on the other hand, you can easily lose it by being dis-respectful to the other person. Life it too short to hate, learn how to love others and first of all Love and respect yourself.

Based on my life experience, Thank you.