Marriage Money Life Friendship

Once upon a time marriage was an agreement between two people written with love and taken oath in front of God to celebrate that they will live together for rest of their life. With the time passing by and this eager of every human being to be successful and have more in life has changed the value of marriage. Since childhood I had this image in my heart that two people meet fall in love and get to live together and we call it marriage. But when it came to my marriage I was taking in lots of new information like marriage is more like an agreement to make sure you are secured in each and every way (financially/security) for rest of the life, in marriage a guy is always right (according to my x-inlaws, that's why they are X)

Even though my marriage didn't last long but it does gave me lots of information about living with a Guy, which is nothing like how i imagined it to be, plus money matters. Yes, it does. I know many wouldn't like my view on this particular thought, but that is what I have experienced. I am not just talking about my relation, but also including many different couples whom I have closely noticed. Lets talk about this deeply.

First I would like to talk about what goes through the guys mind, if the girl is educated good, but if girl is educated plus from a good background (financially) then its a Yes ofcourse. I have seen guys who used to be a lover to every second girl, to change into a homely guy just after marriage. Yes there are some rare cases where people change, but when person change due to love than you can see the difference in their behavior for everyone not just one person, as person who change inside will also change outside. I just cant believe that a person can be only respectful to one and not for rest of the world. What is different if a girl parents has money? she just becomes more valuable? Some of these married guys just make me feel sorry for the girl, as all they talk about is money, Has money taken over Love? All that matters is Materialistic life? 

Moreover they only want to be involved with people with contacts and money, they got all the time for those people, but if someone who unfortunately no longer has anything to offer them, then they are too busy. I didnt learned my lesson in a day,  it took me awhile to see the difference. Means if i had money and contacts than they would come to me as well, but I am glad that I dont and so should all of you if you have ever felt like that. If someone choose  money over you than it is just not worth it to have that person in your life. I do understand some people we cant just delete and throw in recycle bin, but we can step away from them. Better to be with less people but those who dont care and showoff. 

I am very thankful to those few friends, who not only stand by me but are there for all ups and downs in my life. 

Have a wonderful day. :)

Exercise Routine for Mums

 

 

Yes I know what you all are thinking..

That's exactly how I used to feel as well. I must mention I was never a gym lover or had a super model body. But being overweight started when I fell pregnant, like every mum or should I say some mums, as lately I have seen many fitness lover mums who does abs exercises in pregnancy. Even though I admire them I know I could never be one of them, until and unless someone actually starts paying me for exercising. Lol As if.. haha

Jokes aside. I have started something from almost a month and it has helped me 2 kilos. Yes 2 kilos and its Down Down Down. yayy..

I wanted to share few tips with all the mums who find it its impossible to workout with kids and I know it is. So here is my non-workout routine which not only will help you cherish the time spend with your little one but also make you shed weight.

Step 1:-  Figure out what is your favorite time of the day, means when would you think you would     like to go out for a walk or a little bike ride or any activity that you like. Once you decide on a time, make sure you fed the little one half an hour before that time and you two are all set to go out.

Step 2:- If your little one is still in pram then get the pram ready, if your little one is toddler or big than you can pick the activity that they like. It could be a bike, scooter, football, etc anything.

Step 3:- Forget about everything else. Think of this half an hour or an hour (depending upon what you decide), as just your exclusive time with your bub.

 

Step 4:- Start walking, jogging, running, bike, football, etc whatever you choose to do with your exclusive time. Spend that time giggling and running around with your bub.

Once you start doing it for a week then increase the time and start adding up some exercises in it. But the best and important thing to do first is to fix a time of the day when you would like to so this all.
I am sure many of you have thought about this all and most would have been already doing this once a week or so.

Why not make it a routine?

Not only your gorgeous bub will love that mum who jumps around like a frog, you will also love those extra laughs and amazing time of the day.

I will add some exercises as well in my next blog which I started doing after I did this play routine with my little one for 10 days.

Last but not the least, this play time has to be outdoor, unless its bad weather (You mums are the best judge).

Hope you enjoyed it.

Lots love.. xx
 

Another Year of Survival Being a MUM. 2015

Here we all, its 31st Dec 2015. One more year is gone, just like the blink of an eye. But the truth is nothing much changes for a mother, I am doing what I was doing last day of 2014 evening. My daughter is asleep and I have some my time to sit relax and think that one more year and sadly I have no one to spend this new year with. I must mention I have friends (lots lots friends) and few relatives as well. But usually people have plans of their own and they don't like to ruin it with single mums like me. Its the harsh truth and only mums in my situation can understand what I mean.

 

The only good thing is that I get to sit in my home and be thoughtful about the choices I make next year, specially from the bitter experience of last year. It doesn't always have to be a heartbreak from a lover. It could be unfortunately done by anyone in our life. Specially when someone like me who lives alone with a little one, not many like to hang around with me. As hanging out with me would mean with my child as well, and not everyone accepts that. Even though they say so. Many people have canceled their plans with me because of other better plans. When I think of them I just thank that I am not such person. I have never canceled my plans with my friends with kids even when I was not a mum.

 

The good thing was I did some good things in year 2015

 

- I donated blood and plasma for first time

- I helped others without any expectation

- Got my Citizenship

- Had my photo-shoot done with Avon

- Got my hair highlights done after 6 years

- Experienced my little girl's first ever performance on stage
- Learner truth about selfish people again.
- Start writing my Blog

 

 

Things I actually wanted to do in year 2015

 

- Loose some weight

- Get a good job

- Travel Europe

- Move apartments

- Go on a date

- Watch new year fire works


Overall good things list seems longer than the things I couldn't do. I feel happy and content. The best this is I got a little sunshine with me to make my days even more brighter and sometimes  very very stressful. But that's motherhood. It comes with hard and long days but ends with the most amazing kisses and love. Don't think I don't loose it, I do but that's being a mum.

Thank you for reading my year 2015. Hope you all had a good year 2015. I am happy to have chat about motherhood and any other relating problems.

Being a single mother is hard.  A big HATTS OFF to all single mums out their, not everyone can be a mum. So ENJOY it..

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Tips for Shopping day to be an Easy Day

I remember when shopping days were simple, easy and quick. When going to shopping used to be another way to relax and have a great day out. But ever since I have become a mum it seems like I have lost the track of how I thought shopping was supposed to be relaxing?

Now going to shopping is like going around in circles in one isle. Yes of course when your little one is too independent to sit on a pram or a trolley than there is no way out. Even though we mums love our little ones but the truth is all of us hate doing shopping with them, specially when we are in rush and are on strict time schedule. Here are some of the tricks and tips which has worked for me so far. I must mention they don't work everytime but even if they work 6 out of 10 that is good. Right?

Tips to Make Shopping Day an Easy Day with our little ones:-

1. Don't try to be a Super Mum:- Before you get out of the car and grab that trolley, just give a reminder to yourself that you are not a super mum, lol. I know most of us don't even want to think that we are not super mums. But what I have learned from my parenting of last 4 years, that when we try too hard to become a 10/10 mum than somehow we unintentionally start having high expectation from our little one. And in most cases that's the problem. For example, when your little one start giving a tantrum in the middle of the isle, than instead of getting frustrated (as you want to do everything on time/ being a super mum), try giving a cuddle for a minute or two and you will see how your little one will calm down (In most cases).

2. Let Your Little Helpers Help You:- Yes I know we mums are always in rush and letting the little one help could be one more job. No harm giving it a go, specially when you know that bub is going to run here and there in the shop and you will end up following him/her anyway. So give it a shot, ask them to help you. My little girl don't want to sit in the trolley and want to run around in the grocery shop. After many days like this, one day I asked her to help me doing shopping. Not only she helped me but I didn't even had to run after her from one isle to the other, as she was busy finding things I told her to, and I only gave her things which were present in the same isle as me. It was like a hide and seek with grocery. She enjoyed it and so did I. It might have took 5 extra minutes but it saved my 10 minutes to run after her and I didn't got annoyed. Win Win Situation..

3. One Treat Wont Harm Anyone:- We Mums know what is best for our little one. I do not like the idea of giving treats to kids all the time. But on a day when you know that your little one is in a little cranky mood and you cannot skip shopping, you can offer a little treat. You are the best judge what to offer to your bub, in my case my little girl love yoghurt and crackers. So on a day when she is tired or hungry and I have to go shopping urgently, I first go straight to yoghurt and take few pouches for her and give her one by one. And surprisingly usually she do not like to sit on the pram or trolley, but when she knows she will get to eat something she likes she does. When she is enjoying sipping at the yummy yoghurt I finish the quick shop. Not a bad idea huh??

4. Make Shopping a Treasure :- As a mother we know what our kid like to play the most. But shopping could be a fun thing. Try to make it as a treasure island for your bub. Kids have sharp memory, somehow we might forget things we see due to our running life, but amazingly many incidents have happened with my bub that it makes me amaze that how good kids memories are. Take advantage of that. Tel them certain product and ask them to stop you when we reach there. Give them instructions like we have to be together when we find the treasure (item/product). Might not work with every kid, but with an active kid like mine it always help. NO harm giving it go..

5. Ignore People with Grumpy Faces:- Many times I have seen people giving me bad eyes or should I say bad looks in supermarket. Every time it happens I just tell myself that its ok, this is my life and I choose my child's happiness. As long as my child is not hurting anyone or saying something disrespectful I don't have to worry about those grumpy faces. 50% of such people don't have kids themselves, so they have no idea how it is to be with a bub 24/7, so cant expect them to understand. And 30% are amazingly parents, with either really sophisticated calm kids or grown kids. Then comes those 20% beautiful smiles and eyes that says "I understand". Just pay attention to those loving eyes and give a smile back. Always remember you are the role model to your bub, so be a smiley face. SMILE :-)

6. Tel your Bub that You Love Them:- Last but not the least, tell your bub you love them. Amazingly these 4 letter words are very powerful. We as mums love our bubs to moon and back, and often feel how precious they are when they are asleep, I know I feel that too. But somehow we forget to tell them on their face or just take it for granted that they know it. When everything is going wrong and no trick is working and you just want to scream out loud and drop the bags on the floor  or whatever is getting in your mind. Just hold your bub and tell them you love them so much. This is one of those things which magically works in my case, it not only takes my stress away but also calms my little one down. Try It..

These are not super tricks, but something from my experience. It might work might not. As its hard for us, its also hard for our little ones. Never stress too much about future to ruin today. Enjoy your day out with bub, have a good laugh, enjoy their smile and always remember they will never be this age forever. And when they will grow up we will miss it.

Thanks for reading..

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Broken Marriage

If we talk about a romantic movie or a television series, than marriage seems an easy way out of all the problems, where both partner help each other through tough times and still are able to love and care for each other. But for me marriage was being in a trap where I was always being judged and mistreated. I must say it was my fault that I let it happened for so long with me and never told my parents about what was going on behind the walls. My marriage lasted for 1 year, thankfully I was able to get myself free from the trap and fly again in the shining sky, but when I read news about other women going through the same thing, I feel the pain and wish I could help someone in someway.

It was a normal day here in Melbourne, when as usual my parents started talking about how it is important at my age to find a right partner and settle down. In India, the right time to get married is when the girl become above 25 of age. I luckily belong to a family where the age is 25 for girls, unfortunately in some families if girl is above 18 they are ready for marriage. My parents never forced me into anything, so even though I was not entirely sure to get married I did said yes to meet and talk to few guys they had chosen for me, and they were already in Australia so it was easy to meet up as well.

First time when I called, he seemed a-bit arrogant but within 1-2 minutes talk his voice changed and was talking to me very nicely and softly. So I though may be he was also nervous like me as it was an arrange thing by parents. As the time passed we talked more on phone and about our likes/dislikes, everything seemed normal. He was a normal looking guy, but I wasn't looking for Tom Cruise either, so if everything was not excellent than it wasn't less from being good. We had few meetings and he seemed like a romantic guy, he used to drive all the way from Sydney to Melbourne to see me. One thing I missed was that he always used to answer the phone away from me, and whenever he was on phone he always had this angry face. But as-if I couldn't hear anything so I didn't judged him, which I should have as he had a very bad temper.

Things were going smooth and I didn't actually find any reason to say no to him, so I said yes to my parents. It wasn't long after that yes that he started showing his true colors. First thing he did was he bought a new phone for me with a new number on his name, which I though was very sweet as he wanted to give me something as a present. It was a plan to trap me, so that he can keep an eye on whom I call and text. I didn't came to know all about this after marriage when we started fighting about silly things. Anyway, coming back to the part where we flew to India to get married. All was fine other than that from 2-3 days we didn't talked as he said he was out partying with his friends before marriage and I didn't mind as I was a party lover myself.

Marriage went smooth and as our tradition after marriage I went to his house. After two days he had a huge fight with his own mom. I still don't know the reason of the fight but he spoke to his mum very rudely, that was one more clue for me but I didn't understood it that time. In my experience I have seen that a guy who mistreats his own mum can never respect his own wife or partner. After being in India for few days we came back. I came back to Melbourne and he went to Sydney as he was from Sydney. I was waiting to get my transfer done so that I can also move to Sydney. And when I finally did moved, it is when the nightmare started. As-if he was waiting for me to be in his full control and than only he showed his real face.

He used to fight for each and every little thing. I sometimes felt as if I am the worst person on the earth. All I did for one year was to please him and make him happy, but I was wrong. that's not how marriage works. Marriage is both ways, in my case only one understood the meaning and other one was just busy controlling. I being an Indian, always learned that a girl has to do everything to make his life with his husband well. I tried was I was taught and learned so far from my childhood. But some men can not be satisfied with anything. And he also had a long time girl friend, when I came to know about it than it was just a dead relation. I was expecting by then, it was the last chance I gave him to be sensible and run his own family. He never did what it takes a man to run a family.

Shortly after my little one was born, I left him. I left that Jail,
- where I was questioned 100 times a day
- where he used to keep an eye on my calling list and fight with me if I forget to tell him that I called someone
- where I wasn't allowed to talk to my family and friends
- where I wasn't allowed to leave home without him
- where I wasn't allowed to eat without him
- where I was always judged
- where I was always compared to others
- where I was never being loved
- where I forgot how to smile
- where I wasn't able to look at my own face in the mirror, as I use to feel pity on myself.

Now when I look back I think why I gave him that 1 year of my life which I will never get back. But then I see my gorgeous little one and I smile, as she is what I got from that one horrible broken marriage. In last 3 years, she has helped me to be myself and love life and get back to myself.
She is the reason I am happy and content. Now when I see mirror I don't see a girl who is trapped or feels sorry for her life, I see a Mother who loves her little one. My little on is my savior.

I do have a Broken Marriage, but I have a wonderful future ahead with my little one. I have hope and faith on myself. I have LOVE..

Based on my true life experience.
Thanks for reading. :)

Friendship

I couldn't stop thinking about those people or should i call them friends, who are no longer in my life. The reason behind me talking about this topic is that one of my friend was complaining about her friend who doesn’t treat her right. First of all, my dear readers, if someone is not treating you right then just take a break with them there itself. It will allow you to give some time to yourself to figure out what's happening to your friendship. And, it will allow sometime for your friend to figure out if they have been mistreating you in someway and if they still want to be friends with you then they will work on it.

Friendship, as we all know is one of the most wonderful relations we have in our life. Starting from being toddlers to old age, we have friends to help us go through all ups and downs in life. If we are lucky, we will have that one friend throughout our childhood to old age. Childhood friends are like siblings, you can expect them to help you in each way and still have a big argument without worrying about losing the friend. Then come those friends which we make out of choice, like in our teenage, we meet many different types of people. We make some friends due to similarities, and with some we just end up becoming friends without any reason. All friendships are great, as they provide warmth, love, care and security.

I have many friends, but i must say i have only a few who are very close to my heart. There was a time in my life when i had heaps of friends, or i thought they were my friends. But, life's reality made me understand the difference between a friend or colleague or acquaintance. First reality check was when i moved interstate and left my job, it was like 8 out of 10 people were out of my life as they no longer required me, or should i say in a better way, that they no longer required my service at work. I must accept i didn't realize it straightaway, as i was still trying to be in touch and update everyone. But within a few months  I understood those were not my friends, those were just my colleagues who were pretending to be friends as that allows them to ask me for favors. I must admit  I felt sad, but better late than never, so I let them go.

Acquaintance could mean different things to different people according to their understanding, according to me it means those people who are known to you and are good to hangout with but once in a while. I myself became a victim of it, as i was being acquaintance to someone. One of the girls whom I knew would see me once in awhile, mostly when she would have no one to go to or talk to I guess, but will not be available when I want to do something or catch-up. It took me some time to understand that she had me in her "once in a while" call list. I didn't end friendship with her but instead put her in my "once in a while" list. And once I understood the clear meaning of these type of people now i must say I have heaps in "once in a while" list.

I must mention in my life I have also had some friends who were very nice and good friends, but after few years things changed, and instead of friendship there was anger. Till date I can't understand how it all changed but when I look back I try to only think of good moments. I remember when things changed in between us. In my effort to save our friendship I tried alot to fix things and even apologized to her so that we can over come the bad time. But it just wasn't enough for her. Its been few years to this incident, still when I think of her i still cant understand what went wrong there, as there wasn't any big reason or argument but after few attempts I stopped. I just couldn't push myself to do any more for her, not because i didn't wanted to, but because it just wasn't worth it. Friendship also requires forgiveness.

Always cherish your friendship, remember, if they are not treating you the right way, then let them go. Trust your friends but also have self respect. If they love you and want to continue the friendship then they will take the effort as well. In a friendship if you think you are always explaining yourself then it's better to finish it, as it means you two have no understanding. Friends, without whom i cannot imagine my life. We all need friends, they make us laugh and cry at the same time, sometimes due to a terrible joke or sometimes by just being a friend. Thanks to all the wonderful people who were always around me and helped me in life and made me smile. More than that, thanks to those who left me, and made me cry, since if it wasn't up-to these people I would have never have understood the real meaning of friendship and who my true friends are.


Enjoy reading, would love your comments. Thank you. :)