Hold on to your Dreams....

Ever since we are born, we become our parents dream and they set some rules and boundaries for us to shape and help us grow into a better person, which allows us to either fulfil their dream or our dream. Thankfully I have become one of those people I would like myself to be.

 

Even when my marriage broke down 95% of people disappeared from my life. It would be wrong if I say it didn't hurt me, but I was already broken with my marriage so it didn't gave me much of a shock. Then there were those people who started attracting to me mostly because I was in same situation like them, being a divorcee. Some became really good friends and some just stayed for awhile and then disappeared. Even in the church I used to go, I became a Hot Topic after my divorce, people wanted to interact either to gossip or for a marriage proposal with someone with no visa, once I made it clear that I was not interested than all the people disappeared.

 

My life has always been like a up down hill road, one comes and one is ready to leave. But ironically it never happened with a partner, I wish it did, lol.. ;) I always dreamed of a good looking guy with killing looks coming my way, but it never even happened. I am no Miss Universe so I guess I over expected from my dream man as well, but I must say I did got many proposals from which mostly were due to Residency purpose. As I am citizen and many Indian guys are here on either no visa or struggling to extend there visa, they will truly even marry a 60 year old, so I am certainly a better option. I have spoken to a guy once who was only interested in going to a lawyer to discuss his residency after getting married to me, and didn't even asked me one question about myself, and that was it, I said NO. I still believe that one day my prince charming will come and fit in my life like a puzzle does, that day all the wrongs will become right and all the sadness will turn into happiness.

 

I have passed 30 years in struggling but still believing that good thing happens to good people, I do loose my hope every now and then, but always happy with whatever decisions I make. But on those dark days when I am super low and see no light at the end of the tunnel, I have wonderful friends/family + super gorgeous daughter who makes me see my dreams again.

 

What is Respect???

Ever since our childhood, we have always been taught by our parents to respect others. But as the time passes and we go from childhood to adulthood, some of us tend to forget the real meaning of Respect. Respect doesn't mean taking crap from the other person and still not talking back. It means to give respect to the other person and his/her reactions as well as respecting yourself, means to have self-respect and realizing when you have had enough with the person giving you headache. It could be a friend, relative or a partner, we have to set limits for our-selves and stick to that. This way we not only gain self-respect but we also respect the other person by letting them go, because if they are being dis-respectful to you, then clearly you been having fights/ arguments with the person on a routine basis, ending up with a damaged relationship.

Let's look into this a bit deeper. When we are toddlers then we always have our parents to protect us from kids or persons, whom they think can harm or hurt us in someway. That is the way how parents show love and care by looking after what we do and with whom we interact. And even till teenage and adulthood, they always give their feedback about our friends or the group we go out or spend time with. Being a child we always disagree with them, sometimes due to generation gap and sometimes just because we cannot see their point of view. The way parents see things is quiet different from ours, as they have seen world and experienced more ups and downs than us, and being a parent their reaction is always to warn us about what could possibly go wrong. It's normal for a child to not listen to the parents. But that's one way how parents show their respect to us, by showing us the right way but still not being pushy. The way we can show respect to our parents is by listening to them, and even if we don't 100% agree to what they say, still giving a thought to what they tried to explain to us. It will help you open up your mind to more possibilities.

Another way we gain and give respect is being good friends with each other and always offering a helping hand. I must warn you, just like any other relation, you will see many people in friendship will often respect you when they need something, or when they want things to happen in certain way that is promising to them. But, not all fingers are the  same, so you should be good to others and show respect and care. Worry about who is good to you. If someone is consistently being mean to you, and I must add that if they swear on you in someway, then, give them a few chances to save your friendship. But in my general experience, the person who will swear or abuse you in any way once will continue to do that as no-one can change their inherent nature.

Yes we can change our perspective about few people depending upon the situations. For example, if someone is going through a hard time then it's easy for others to judge them, as they don't know how it's like to be in the other one's shoe. But once the hard time is over, many a times, you can see this wonderful person behind the walls whom you can absolutely enjoy being friends with. On the other hand for people who are always in some rage or anger or abusive or swearing, you can't expect much from them, as they have no control on themselves. And they can spit it out anywhere and in front of anyone. By giving them more and more chances you are just losing your own self-respect. Specially for mums, as this kind of behavior could be bad for a child who is still growing and leaning. My advise is, stay away from such people, as its not worth it for one good moment you want to spoil another moment.

Respect is always both ways. You can easily gain it by giving, but on the other hand, you can easily lose it by being dis-respectful to the other person. Life it too short to hate, learn how to love others and first of all Love and respect yourself.

Based on my life experience, Thank you.