Hold on to your Dreams....

Ever since we are born, we become our parents dream and they set some rules and boundaries for us to shape and help us grow into a better person, which allows us to either fulfil their dream or our dream. Thankfully I have become one of those people I would like myself to be.

 

Even when my marriage broke down 95% of people disappeared from my life. It would be wrong if I say it didn't hurt me, but I was already broken with my marriage so it didn't gave me much of a shock. Then there were those people who started attracting to me mostly because I was in same situation like them, being a divorcee. Some became really good friends and some just stayed for awhile and then disappeared. Even in the church I used to go, I became a Hot Topic after my divorce, people wanted to interact either to gossip or for a marriage proposal with someone with no visa, once I made it clear that I was not interested than all the people disappeared.

 

My life has always been like a up down hill road, one comes and one is ready to leave. But ironically it never happened with a partner, I wish it did, lol.. ;) I always dreamed of a good looking guy with killing looks coming my way, but it never even happened. I am no Miss Universe so I guess I over expected from my dream man as well, but I must say I did got many proposals from which mostly were due to Residency purpose. As I am citizen and many Indian guys are here on either no visa or struggling to extend there visa, they will truly even marry a 60 year old, so I am certainly a better option. I have spoken to a guy once who was only interested in going to a lawyer to discuss his residency after getting married to me, and didn't even asked me one question about myself, and that was it, I said NO. I still believe that one day my prince charming will come and fit in my life like a puzzle does, that day all the wrongs will become right and all the sadness will turn into happiness.

 

I have passed 30 years in struggling but still believing that good thing happens to good people, I do loose my hope every now and then, but always happy with whatever decisions I make. But on those dark days when I am super low and see no light at the end of the tunnel, I have wonderful friends/family + super gorgeous daughter who makes me see my dreams again.

 

Help ... Does it even exits???

Before becoming a mother my life was quite different and never had to think about having someone's responsibility or how to get through one day at time. Life was about planning weeks and months in advance. But now its the other way around, not only I have two little eyes looking upon me for everything also I am only worried about one day at a time that is today.

When i think about help than things like cleaning, washing, getting a job comes to my mind, life is changed now and so has its meaning. I am an Offspring lover (for those who don't know its a television soap i love to watch), when i see Neena struggling alone with stuff being a single mother but still doing a great job as being a Mum. Other than this all being a scripted series i still love watching it. Certain things i can relate to my life but others are too good to be true. Life give you several ups and downs and all you need to do is take it as it comes. Sometimes i feel like do we even have a choice? and the truth is NO. We dont have a choice, as we cant go and chance the present or future.

I have been raising my little one by myself since she was 2 months old. My family has been there emotionally but other than that no one ever helped and the harsh truth is no one even offered. I cant totally blame them as I was very much into being an Independent single mum, but that doesn't mean i wouldn't have loved some help. Same goes with the friends, they were there and still are but mostly are even scared to offer some help.

If i move to job hunting its another heartbroken game for me. From last one month i have received not even one single call but have received many emails about my application being unsuccessful. I even asked my friends who are at good positions in good companies, but i wasn't surprised when they couldn't help, as that is how my life has been so far. But never say never, i still have hope and will figure out something and eventually will have a job that i deserve.


Here is a thumbs up to all the wonderful single mums looking for work. Keep on trying, good things will come your way eventually. The road is hard and very disheartening but we have to keep on walking on it because of our little ones. Good luck :)

Motherhood for a Single Parent

When anyone starts to plan a baby, all the thoughts and expectation are usually positive. Being a mum is a miracle and not everyone can enjoy this wonderful thing, but it also come with some drawbacks. Just like everyone when I was expecting, I had all this thoughts about how will i raise my little one and what all i will do for her, but somehow reality is totally different. I received many messages about how motherhood is different if you are a single parent and also regarding how I cope with day to day struggles. And if you are someone like me who have no family/relatives/friends to help around, than a bit salute to you my friend, its hard very hard and not everyone can get it plus not every can do it. So this blog is dedicated to those mums asking me questions regarding what i do to go through a normal busy day. 

First of all everyday is different, i cannot sum-up a formula which will work everyday to not loose your sanity. I am not super-woman, even i loose it sometimes, but then i just remind myself that regardless how crap i am feeling, this little person needs me and only got me for everything, and somehow this does help me bring back a smile on my face. Some mums are blessed with calm kids, I am not one of them, my little bundle of joy is actually a bundle of too much energy. Regardless how busy i make her, she still find ways to make me tired. By end of the day i am tired and longing for a quite time for myself. One more thing that i have seen has worked so far is by only worrying about present. This not only helps you to relax but also takes pressure out to make things happen in advance.

Never compare your kid, every child is different regardless of age and height. Never put that pressure in your head about how your kid is performing at school, as long as the child is doing his/her best in studies and not hitting or bullying someone. 

Teach your child to share and be nice to others, it will take time and some kids will understand in one go and others will take you to repeat quite a few times before they will start doing it. Repeat yourself again and again in front of them, do not keep a count of how many times you have done that already, lol. Some mums will tel you about how they told their kid once and ever since then they are behaving great, ignore them, every child is different. Don't focus on time out, instead focus on the positive behavior and it will help you to be positive.

Last but not the least, when you child is having a tantrum or just being a tough-child, remind yourself your age. This will not only remind you that how big age difference you have with your child but also give you few seconds to calm down and trust me you will act way better to your child's behavior after this. If its normal for you to loose yourself even being in your 30's than its quite normal for a child with age 10 times less than you to loose it as well. Your little one is still learning to cope with the everyday situations and as well as to control his/her emotions, you are their primary source and teacher.

To sum up, not everything will work fantastic everyday, Its normal to have few tantrums and upset moments during the day, its life. When its night and your little one is asleep plus you get your suite time, in 5 minutes you will miss that little person running around you. Every night when my daughter falls asleep, I thank God for another wonderful day and to help me cope with it.

Love them, hug them, always remember there are some who cant have them and you are lucky to be blessed with one.

Have a wonderful day with your bub.. You are doing the best for your bub.

Will look forward to your comments and messages...

:)