Help ... Does it even exits???

Before becoming a mother my life was quite different and never had to think about having someone's responsibility or how to get through one day at time. Life was about planning weeks and months in advance. But now its the other way around, not only I have two little eyes looking upon me for everything also I am only worried about one day at a time that is today.

When i think about help than things like cleaning, washing, getting a job comes to my mind, life is changed now and so has its meaning. I am an Offspring lover (for those who don't know its a television soap i love to watch), when i see Neena struggling alone with stuff being a single mother but still doing a great job as being a Mum. Other than this all being a scripted series i still love watching it. Certain things i can relate to my life but others are too good to be true. Life give you several ups and downs and all you need to do is take it as it comes. Sometimes i feel like do we even have a choice? and the truth is NO. We dont have a choice, as we cant go and chance the present or future.

I have been raising my little one by myself since she was 2 months old. My family has been there emotionally but other than that no one ever helped and the harsh truth is no one even offered. I cant totally blame them as I was very much into being an Independent single mum, but that doesn't mean i wouldn't have loved some help. Same goes with the friends, they were there and still are but mostly are even scared to offer some help.

If i move to job hunting its another heartbroken game for me. From last one month i have received not even one single call but have received many emails about my application being unsuccessful. I even asked my friends who are at good positions in good companies, but i wasn't surprised when they couldn't help, as that is how my life has been so far. But never say never, i still have hope and will figure out something and eventually will have a job that i deserve.


Here is a thumbs up to all the wonderful single mums looking for work. Keep on trying, good things will come your way eventually. The road is hard and very disheartening but we have to keep on walking on it because of our little ones. Good luck :)

Being a Super Mum aka Being a 100% Parent

When we become parents, we tend to have this expectation from ourself to give the best and 100% to our kids. And when time pass we do try to make it happen for our kids, but like me there are many parents who tend to think every night that today would have been abit more better if a certain incident wouldn't have occurred. From certain incident I mean things like a tantrum where child was bit over tired, etc. If you are one of those parents who go into guilt when something goes wrong or when you were alittle harsh on your little one where you could have been super calmed according to the various articles and parenting tips, I know what you feel, I have been there.

Even though all the parenting tips and articles are a huge help when your moral is low and you need some positive feedback plus just to know there are more parents like you who go through such things, they are not always written by a parent. Every child is different and so does every parent. Doesn't mean that any parent want abit less for their child but still its different when you hear it from a parent or someone who have done loads of study on that topic. As theory wise it makes sense and feels doable, but when you are a parent in that particular situation than the theory makes no sense.

Just like today we had an awesome day, we went to park and than to my little one's friends house for a play date, but by the time I realized she was too tired it was too late. As she was abit restless and crying due to little things, and me trying to make her understand that she is tired and we have to go home to rest didn't make any sense to my DD. According to kids its impossible for them to get tired, and no way they want to miss out on all the play and excitement by having a nap. Our so called good day came to an end with she crying over little things and me trying to drag her to the car so we could get home and she could have alittle rest. We were home in 5 minutes and in next 5 minutes she was already asleep, I must mention when we got home she still wanted to play more with Lego, but I told her off in a firm voice and asked her to lay down in bed. With my denial she got big fat tears in her eyes, which like always broke my heart again but I knew the best thing was to be firm and make her rest and hopefully she will fall asleep. Before I knew she was asleep.

Today was suppose to be a great day according to my expectation, but it wasn't as my DD ended up crying and I feel like a failure, but now when she is asleep all I can think of is that the most important thing is that even though she did got over tired and had a cry, but I learned something from today and may be I will be able to recognize her tiredness much better next time. But above all I did it again, I expected again that I can be a 100% wonderful parent. Where as the truth is if you get a day even 50% great being a parent, then that is beyond any calculation. Less you expect, more you will give. All we need to remind ourself is that they are little and there will be few cries during the day, but all that matters is that how many smiles you had.

Everyday is a new adventure with your little one, no one said it will be a plain road all the times, there will be few bumps here and there, but all that matters it that the adventure you had will give you and your little one great memories for life long. So stop trying to be a super mum and just get along, make few mistakes and then learn from them. Remember when you fall and stand up that will teach your little one that its ok to fall sometimes, but also give them courage to stand up tall again. Be a mentor to your kids, practice what you preach and always remember you are world to your little one.

This one for my little gorgeous DD, whom I love to Moon and back.. <3

Thanks for reading.

:)

Job Hunting for a Single Mother

I always thought when the right time will come than everything will fall in the place and there will be no cliché. In the running, day to day life I kept this window in my heart which allowed me to look outside in a closer and calmer way. I am just like any other normal girl who struggle with day to day things and dreams big at night. Time is a big healer. It allows to forget people or hurtful incidents. Unfortunately it also makes us forget that how someone once loved us or vice versa. I also forgot the bad past and have a hope to fix the future, but this hope is not always helpful. In real life you need connections and its the hurtful truth but it is true that you need money as well. And for money we need a job.

I always thought life could be easy and simple, if we try and give our best. But the truth is it is not, regardless how much you try and keep it simple, it just gets more and more complicated. Like facebook complicated status life also gives us various relation updates, it doesn't have to be with other people, most of the time it is our personal relation with ourself. She came to a new land thinking making her life better and proving her independence to herself and her family. It didn't quite end up the way she thought it would be, life got more and more ups/downs. Here in Australia is also like India, you need links and specially need money to get a job, the only difference is instead of paying to employer directly you pay to the recruitment companies. Even paying them wouldn't bother if they assure a good job 100%. The second most problem is availability, mothers don't have 24 hour 7 days availability, specially the ones raising kid on their own, and employers makes sure to each and every job that they need some one to start early and leave late and work on weekends. I do understand to run a business they need people to work those hours, but shouldn't their be should strategy to help parents like me struggling to get back to work force?

 

Those are few lucky mums who choose to take maternity leave and have easy time to go back to work as compare to mums like us who due to some personal issues have to resign and then it becomes impossible to have a normal job. I do understand for each mum leaving a child behind and going back to work is hard, but its comparatively easy when you actually have a job waiting for you, rather than starting the search and stressing about that if you will get a job call or no. Roughly I apply like 10 jobs every month and some months I donot even get a single call, Ok for a moment I can say that I could have the worst resume but even than I have a Post graduate degree, my English is if not super great than atleast its understandable, plus I have over 8 years of experience in Customer service, does that count nothing?

 

Sometimes I feel its just me getting upset about having a normal work and 9-5 routine. But when I look around I see many mums like me going through this all every single day like me. Still I put everything behind me each day and give my little girl a goodnight kiss. Always be thankful to God about each day, because even though it was not as you would want it to be, but still you had one more day to live and cherish with your loved one. All you need is hope, and you will find many things to be thankful of.

 

Result:- No job for me. lol.. I have started to feel I am in black list of companies as no one even call me. That ends my dull yet hilarious day.

 

Have a wonderful weekend readers.

 

Thank you.

:)