Hold on to your Dreams....

Ever since we are born, we become our parents dream and they set some rules and boundaries for us to shape and help us grow into a better person, which allows us to either fulfil their dream or our dream. Thankfully I have become one of those people I would like myself to be.

 

Even when my marriage broke down 95% of people disappeared from my life. It would be wrong if I say it didn't hurt me, but I was already broken with my marriage so it didn't gave me much of a shock. Then there were those people who started attracting to me mostly because I was in same situation like them, being a divorcee. Some became really good friends and some just stayed for awhile and then disappeared. Even in the church I used to go, I became a Hot Topic after my divorce, people wanted to interact either to gossip or for a marriage proposal with someone with no visa, once I made it clear that I was not interested than all the people disappeared.

 

My life has always been like a up down hill road, one comes and one is ready to leave. But ironically it never happened with a partner, I wish it did, lol.. ;) I always dreamed of a good looking guy with killing looks coming my way, but it never even happened. I am no Miss Universe so I guess I over expected from my dream man as well, but I must say I did got many proposals from which mostly were due to Residency purpose. As I am citizen and many Indian guys are here on either no visa or struggling to extend there visa, they will truly even marry a 60 year old, so I am certainly a better option. I have spoken to a guy once who was only interested in going to a lawyer to discuss his residency after getting married to me, and didn't even asked me one question about myself, and that was it, I said NO. I still believe that one day my prince charming will come and fit in my life like a puzzle does, that day all the wrongs will become right and all the sadness will turn into happiness.

 

I have passed 30 years in struggling but still believing that good thing happens to good people, I do loose my hope every now and then, but always happy with whatever decisions I make. But on those dark days when I am super low and see no light at the end of the tunnel, I have wonderful friends/family + super gorgeous daughter who makes me see my dreams again.

 

Being a Super Mum aka Being a 100% Parent

When we become parents, we tend to have this expectation from ourself to give the best and 100% to our kids. And when time pass we do try to make it happen for our kids, but like me there are many parents who tend to think every night that today would have been abit more better if a certain incident wouldn't have occurred. From certain incident I mean things like a tantrum where child was bit over tired, etc. If you are one of those parents who go into guilt when something goes wrong or when you were alittle harsh on your little one where you could have been super calmed according to the various articles and parenting tips, I know what you feel, I have been there.

Even though all the parenting tips and articles are a huge help when your moral is low and you need some positive feedback plus just to know there are more parents like you who go through such things, they are not always written by a parent. Every child is different and so does every parent. Doesn't mean that any parent want abit less for their child but still its different when you hear it from a parent or someone who have done loads of study on that topic. As theory wise it makes sense and feels doable, but when you are a parent in that particular situation than the theory makes no sense.

Just like today we had an awesome day, we went to park and than to my little one's friends house for a play date, but by the time I realized she was too tired it was too late. As she was abit restless and crying due to little things, and me trying to make her understand that she is tired and we have to go home to rest didn't make any sense to my DD. According to kids its impossible for them to get tired, and no way they want to miss out on all the play and excitement by having a nap. Our so called good day came to an end with she crying over little things and me trying to drag her to the car so we could get home and she could have alittle rest. We were home in 5 minutes and in next 5 minutes she was already asleep, I must mention when we got home she still wanted to play more with Lego, but I told her off in a firm voice and asked her to lay down in bed. With my denial she got big fat tears in her eyes, which like always broke my heart again but I knew the best thing was to be firm and make her rest and hopefully she will fall asleep. Before I knew she was asleep.

Today was suppose to be a great day according to my expectation, but it wasn't as my DD ended up crying and I feel like a failure, but now when she is asleep all I can think of is that the most important thing is that even though she did got over tired and had a cry, but I learned something from today and may be I will be able to recognize her tiredness much better next time. But above all I did it again, I expected again that I can be a 100% wonderful parent. Where as the truth is if you get a day even 50% great being a parent, then that is beyond any calculation. Less you expect, more you will give. All we need to remind ourself is that they are little and there will be few cries during the day, but all that matters is that how many smiles you had.

Everyday is a new adventure with your little one, no one said it will be a plain road all the times, there will be few bumps here and there, but all that matters it that the adventure you had will give you and your little one great memories for life long. So stop trying to be a super mum and just get along, make few mistakes and then learn from them. Remember when you fall and stand up that will teach your little one that its ok to fall sometimes, but also give them courage to stand up tall again. Be a mentor to your kids, practice what you preach and always remember you are world to your little one.

This one for my little gorgeous DD, whom I love to Moon and back.. <3

Thanks for reading.

:)

My Independence Day aka The day i left an Abusive Relation

Today 4 years ago I left the most disturbing and controlling relation, I could never forget today's date and celebrate it as my Independence Day. I am free and happy now but that wasn't the case 4 years ago. I thought I would be stuck with him forever but luckily I flew away and that was the best decision I ever made. Now when I look at my little one I feel more proud of myself for leaving that abusive relationship. If my daughter would have been witnessed all the drama going on in my life due to a bad partner, she would have thought it is normal for a guy to treat a woman like this. But that's not the case now, and I am happy about that. I am single and a mother to a fabulous girl and my life couldn't be better. I am happy in my little family and that's the way it should be.

 

I remember when I was in that relation I use to avoid looking at myself in mirror, it used to make me more sad and depressed about my life with him. It was like walking on egg shells, anything could happen anytime, he could loose it anytime and start screaming and blaming me. Been with him was the biggest mistake of my life but I got something amazing out of it that is my daughter. Before the marriage he was a nice normal guy or may be I missed the signs that he was insane. Once we were married I saw change in his behavior towards all the women in his life which includes me, his mother and sisters. But as it was all very new to me and him, I decided to give it all abit more time and wait for everything to settle down, but what I have learned is that they never change. Can I change my behavior? NO. So how did I even think he can be something better? I know it was that girl inside me who wanted my marriage to work out and was giving him more and more chances to fix the things.

 

Unfortunately we are surrounded by people who judge us by status Single - Married - Divorced. A majority of people think that girls like me who fall in Divorced category are ready to go out with anyone and are the one to be blamed for the whole relationship fall down. I don't even have to go far to friends, in my own family I got many people who gave me that look when I left him. I must say it did broke my heart but it didn't made me change my mind, it just made me look more clearer that those people who are not happy with my decision are actually the one with this cheap mentality that a women is below men, and that's not how I have been raised. My father is a very loving and caring father and husband, it doesn't mean they never had fights or there were never problems, but they went through all the problems together and still there for each other. It gives me great satisfaction that I had a great picture in my heart about the perfect man and that made me move on from that relation.

 

Today I want to thank all the lovely people who cared about me and stood beside me through that hard time, they are a hand few and better than having heaps of Frenemies. One angel like cousin and his wife, couple of friends + my loving family stood beside me when I took the decision. That's all what it takes few close friends/relatives to make you feel more confident and think clearer. Thank you to all those who supported me and I can never express the love and respect I have for you in my heart. Plus even more thankful to those who didn't care and were gossiping about me being a bad wife, as you all give me that push to go on and do more and prove you wrong. Now I am here happy and content. I want to share my story so any women out there suffering what I suffered before can read it and if its even 1% helpful to them I will be very happy.

 

Ps feel free to share your story or any support you need. xx

 

Thank you for reading.

 

Keep Smiling :)

Jamberry Nail Wrap Review

In a busy mum's life it is almost impossible to do things like going to a spa or getting a manicure or pedicure. From many year we have been hearing about nail stickers which reduces time and effort to go to a nail shop plus are easily available online. I have heard a lot about Jamberry Nail wraps and was looking forward to try some out. So I contacted one of their consultant for some samples. I got the samples in couple of days in post and was very eagerly waiting for my little one to sleep so I can have a nail makeover.

 

 

I got the pack with all the things in the above picture plus the nail wrap. Now I will start explaining everything with steps:-

 

1. Use Moisturizing hand cream to moisture your hands so they are nicely moisturized.

 

2. Use Nail Prep wipe to wipe your nails so that they are nice and clean.

 

3. Use the nail wrap sheet to match it to your nails (finger or toe).

 

4. It tells you to use some sort of heat to warm the wrap before putting it on nails, I used my hair dryer and it worked fine. So use the dryer on the minimum heat to warm the wrap and then press it on your nail.

 

5. The rubber cuticle pusher is a must to use after putting the wrap on the nail to make it smooth and stick properly.

 

6. If you are someone like me with small nails then all you need to do is cut the left over extra nail wrap with scissors and you can use the nail filer to make the it trim properly, but make sure you file the extra bit in a downward motion.

 

7. Use the dryer after you put the nail wrap to your nails, it helps with them to stick properly and stay longer.

 

This is all you need for this quick nail makeover. Took me around 5 minutes to do all.

Only thing I struggled with is my right hand, it was very easy to do on left hand, as I am a right hand user. Even though it was my first time experimenting these wraps, I like the after result and expecting that next time will be more easier to do on right hand.

 

And here is the final result (Would like to mention I donot have model like hands, but doing a review from one mum to other mums). As every mum is looking for time saving tip and this could be one of the tip for many mums, to save a trip to nail saloon on those super busy days.

 

 

 I am happy with the result, I received Masala Chai Sample. I have done dishes, clothes and other day to day chores of a mum and even after 4 days they are still the same.

 

Pros:- Easy to apply, quick delivery, long lasting, huge variety, but three wrap sheets get one free

Cons:- Hard to do on the alternate hand if you have no help(might get better by practice), abit overpriced ($22 individual wrap sheet price which includes hands and toes, but do give one sheet free if you buy three)

Overall, I wouldn't mind using a wrap every now or then but will wait for specials (as I believe like every company Jamberry must have special price reductions sometimes during the year). And will probably apply them when I have a friend over to help me with my right hand application.

As I mentioned before the sample were provided by Jamberry consultant and anyone of you looking forward to enjoy a nail makeover then here is the website link for Australia

https://donashelly.jamberry.com/au/en/



Jamberry is available in NewZealand, Canada, UK, Australia and Canada. Have a look through the website for any more information.

Thank you for reading my Jamberry Review.  Don't forget to share your review in comments.

Have a wonderful day and keep smiling. xx


 

Job Hunting for a Single Mother

I always thought when the right time will come than everything will fall in the place and there will be no cliché. In the running, day to day life I kept this window in my heart which allowed me to look outside in a closer and calmer way. I am just like any other normal girl who struggle with day to day things and dreams big at night. Time is a big healer. It allows to forget people or hurtful incidents. Unfortunately it also makes us forget that how someone once loved us or vice versa. I also forgot the bad past and have a hope to fix the future, but this hope is not always helpful. In real life you need connections and its the hurtful truth but it is true that you need money as well. And for money we need a job.

I always thought life could be easy and simple, if we try and give our best. But the truth is it is not, regardless how much you try and keep it simple, it just gets more and more complicated. Like facebook complicated status life also gives us various relation updates, it doesn't have to be with other people, most of the time it is our personal relation with ourself. She came to a new land thinking making her life better and proving her independence to herself and her family. It didn't quite end up the way she thought it would be, life got more and more ups/downs. Here in Australia is also like India, you need links and specially need money to get a job, the only difference is instead of paying to employer directly you pay to the recruitment companies. Even paying them wouldn't bother if they assure a good job 100%. The second most problem is availability, mothers don't have 24 hour 7 days availability, specially the ones raising kid on their own, and employers makes sure to each and every job that they need some one to start early and leave late and work on weekends. I do understand to run a business they need people to work those hours, but shouldn't their be should strategy to help parents like me struggling to get back to work force?

 

Those are few lucky mums who choose to take maternity leave and have easy time to go back to work as compare to mums like us who due to some personal issues have to resign and then it becomes impossible to have a normal job. I do understand for each mum leaving a child behind and going back to work is hard, but its comparatively easy when you actually have a job waiting for you, rather than starting the search and stressing about that if you will get a job call or no. Roughly I apply like 10 jobs every month and some months I donot even get a single call, Ok for a moment I can say that I could have the worst resume but even than I have a Post graduate degree, my English is if not super great than atleast its understandable, plus I have over 8 years of experience in Customer service, does that count nothing?

 

Sometimes I feel its just me getting upset about having a normal work and 9-5 routine. But when I look around I see many mums like me going through this all every single day like me. Still I put everything behind me each day and give my little girl a goodnight kiss. Always be thankful to God about each day, because even though it was not as you would want it to be, but still you had one more day to live and cherish with your loved one. All you need is hope, and you will find many things to be thankful of.

 

Result:- No job for me. lol.. I have started to feel I am in black list of companies as no one even call me. That ends my dull yet hilarious day.

 

Have a wonderful weekend readers.

 

Thank you.

:)

Blogger Mum's Weekend

It is Sunday today, luckily I woke up a bit late as my little one decided to sleep for a little longer. I was looking forward to this weekend to being a nice relaxing one. But ever since i have started planning this weekend it didn't look like I would be having a relaxed one. I started with calling a family friend who has been asking me to make some time to see them. But people being the people they are, when you make some time to see them, then they somehow take it for granted that you are available whole day. Excuse me, do I look like a person who has no work or other commitments? If that's what you had in mind about me then please go and be friends with someone else. As friendship only survives with respect and understanding, and in your case it doesn't look like you cherish any of those.

Me and my little one had a great Saturday, thanks to those people who first asked to see me and when I said yes let's catchup, then said sorry we don't have time. I spent my whole day with my darling girl friend and we had an awesome day. Did I mention I got my hair done? I got hair color after 4-5 years. Another advantage of being mum, you stop taking care of yourself and which is good in a way, as I stopped coloring my hair which is good for my hair as they damage hair. I am happy with the color, but did have to give myself a few days to get used to, as my eyes were used to see my natural hair from so long. Luckily, the feedback I got from few people was nice, so I am happy with the change. Sometimes we just want to change something just to break free in the normal life. And in my mummy life it usually revolves around my little one's needs and I must admit just like other mums I have ignored myself a lot.

Few days ago I read an article on yahoo about mothers risking their life, but ignoring themselves and putting other family member needs before them. Females are powerful human beings, in India they told us that that female is Goddess and we should respect and care for them. But unfortunately, these days we hear lots about women being a victim of Domestic violence. Some people think that only hitting someone is DV, thats not true. It includes verbal, mental, emotional and financial abuse as well. Like by not allowing someone to go somewhere and some do it very cleverly , instead of saying I don't want you to go, they usually play with your emotions by saying things like I don't like the way that person treats me or I don't feel comfortable with that person. As they know you being in love with them would leave that third person aside. Like many other women i have also been a victim of that. And after doing all the mean things men call themselves bigger person. But the truth is that a woman will do everything and still be down to earth. I must say not all men are like that but I am talking about those few who are abusers.

I wish one day I can do a course or open up a refuge to help women and kids in need. I hear all these people talking about women empowerment. And the funniest thing is when people who didn't want to help me in my bad days talk about women empowerment and how we all should stand together and raise awareness and help women. It makes me like them lesser and lesser. If someone you know is in trouble then you dislike them and talk behind their back. And now when everyone else is talking about helping women then you are also repeating it as a parrot for praise. 

My dear reader friends. Don't be afraid or feel judged by such people. Look at yourself. You have the power and courage to make everything possible for yourself and your little one. And trust me when within a few years you will be back to top then those people will come back. But then you would no longer need them and that will teach them a lesson that What Goes Around Comes Around. 

Have a lovely lovely weekend. Xx

Day 4 as a Blogger Mum

Today was a good day. I did my brochure distribution and arranged next week's work. Working from home has it own advantages and disadvantages. The best thing is specially when you are a mum, you can choose the hours you want to work for and the amount of work pressure you can sustain. You are your own boss, specially when working as a self business owner, where you have flexibility and desire to earn as much as you like. Also to know that there is a possibility that we can work and take care of kids at the same time. But on the other hand the disadvantage is that we can't fully focus on working hours, specially in my case where I am lazy bones, when I work I work good and when I don't want to do anything then i am totally a couch potato. So this could be another reason of my excess weight. I must mention that I was on a good diet till today afternoon, No excuse why this happened, oh yes I do have an excuse it was Woolworths, I had a yummy chocolate cake.

But I must say after eating that delicious piece of chocolate cake I felt amazing. It was like it was needed badly. Either a big craving or I can think of it as my cheat day or blame on it on another cold day. Apart from this cheat my whole day was good. Sorted my work related things and completed some appointments and made a few calls, so I think of today as a productive day work wise. I also did some research about jobs today. I am loosing my faith on Seek.com even though in past its been helpful, but lately it just seems like all the jobs advertised on it seem to be only fit for a person who is fully educated but unemployed and the same time with exceptional experience. How can a person with so much skills and education be sitting home and applying for jobs? And if no one will give a job to someone in need then how can someone ever get experience?

Enough with my job related grudge. I guess all mums struggling to get back to work go through this experience. On the street where I live a house owner is demolishing the house to build a new one. While distributing my brochures I couldn't stop noticing how the old house is gone forever and the new construction has started. It made me wonder how one day we all will be gone as well and only a new house (means our kids) will take over and proceed with life. Before becoming a mum all I could think of was about having a car, a fully furnished apartment, trips, etc etc. but after i became a mum all those things became meaningless. I just want best for my little one, it does include few of the things from that list, like a better car and possibly my own house, but the main thing that matters is to give my little one my attention, my time and my love and care. As when they grow what matters is how we have raised our child, not what all we gave them. They won't remember the presents and amount of dollars we spent on them but how much we supported, cared and loved them.

To all the dear mums, be proud of what you all do everyday. You all are doing a great job, putting your little ones needs before your needs and doing your best to give them the love and care that is required, and that is not an easy job. And trust me if a person gives you advise about raising your child, specially a person who is not parent, then listen to their advise but do what you think is best for your child. As you have known your child from childhood and know what's into your child's best interest. Every child is different and special. Love them and care for them. When they will be adults than it wont matter what all they messed up in toddler or kinder age. And trust me you wont even remember it by than. By what i have known from my parents i was the most mischievous kid, and wouldn't sit still. But i turned out to be a normal human being, lol. I am an adult and sit nicely when i am suppose to be and don't jump on couches anymore, thanks to my parents for letting me enjoy the childhood. As we all know childhood don't last forever. One day our little ones will be big and than we will miss these all childhood cute moments. So, have a big cuddle with your little one, tell them how much you love them and last but not least, be easy on yourself. You all doing a great job.

So,
Today's job search result:- Job search continued.
Highlight of the day:- Yummy Chocolate Cake.
Feeling :- Mischievous.
Expecting:- To do something new everyday.
Hope:- To enjoy my little one's childhood.

Thank you for reading it.

Day 1 as a Blogger Mum

Yes, I finally started what I have been thinking of doing since a long time. Yes I started a blog. With no idea who will read it or even who will have time in the busy running life to read about one more single mum struggling and also loving the way life treats us. Today after dropping my little girl at day care I did some home chores and took care of the little home business that I run and then was just sitting in front of the laptop trying to figure out how I can reduce some weight for the summer, which by the way is almost here. So chances are low but still I think of losing weight every single day. I think it's every girl's secret thought.

I also did some work search as I am always looking for a part-time job but with no luck. Websites like seek.com only seem to help those with full time availability. For mums like me there are minimal job offers and even if there are any, they are mostly taken by highly experienced people. So people like me with less availability and comparatively less experience have no chance.

I am looking at the dining table with all the mess on top of it and thinking I should try to keep it clean and also donate some of my daughter's old toys. Or I should say I am making lists in my head of what all I need to do today. Some shopping, cleaning, cooking etc. and the list goes on.

Sitting in my small messy apartment I feel happy with the thought that I am free. I have freedom to do what I like and when I like. I have no pressure of any sort from anyone to do anything. Freedom of being a single mum.  Sometimes I feel I am still not over the emotional damage my ex-marriage did. I have learned how to love myself but still I have no time for anyone in my life other than my daughter. She is my survival and my full support. She calls me her only best friend, I don't even know if she knows the meaning of it but I love when she says it to me and I reply to her saying that she is my best friend too and she gives me a cuddle and makes me feel like a million dollars. I look at her and feel blessed and thank God for giving her to me.

I must say it feels great to write here. Like how we used to have a secret diary and pen in schools. Now a days we are more tech savvy and we use laptops. Still it feels good to write what goes on in my head here.

So,
Today's job search result:-  No job applied.
Highlight of the day:- Wrote my first blog
Feeling :- neither happy nor sad.
Expecting:- to stick to my diet today
Hope:- Someone will read my blog

Thank you for reading it.