Another Year of Survival Being a MUM. 2015

Here we all, its 31st Dec 2015. One more year is gone, just like the blink of an eye. But the truth is nothing much changes for a mother, I am doing what I was doing last day of 2014 evening. My daughter is asleep and I have some my time to sit relax and think that one more year and sadly I have no one to spend this new year with. I must mention I have friends (lots lots friends) and few relatives as well. But usually people have plans of their own and they don't like to ruin it with single mums like me. Its the harsh truth and only mums in my situation can understand what I mean.

 

The only good thing is that I get to sit in my home and be thoughtful about the choices I make next year, specially from the bitter experience of last year. It doesn't always have to be a heartbreak from a lover. It could be unfortunately done by anyone in our life. Specially when someone like me who lives alone with a little one, not many like to hang around with me. As hanging out with me would mean with my child as well, and not everyone accepts that. Even though they say so. Many people have canceled their plans with me because of other better plans. When I think of them I just thank that I am not such person. I have never canceled my plans with my friends with kids even when I was not a mum.

 

The good thing was I did some good things in year 2015

 

- I donated blood and plasma for first time

- I helped others without any expectation

- Got my Citizenship

- Had my photo-shoot done with Avon

- Got my hair highlights done after 6 years

- Experienced my little girl's first ever performance on stage
- Learner truth about selfish people again.
- Start writing my Blog

 

 

Things I actually wanted to do in year 2015

 

- Loose some weight

- Get a good job

- Travel Europe

- Move apartments

- Go on a date

- Watch new year fire works


Overall good things list seems longer than the things I couldn't do. I feel happy and content. The best this is I got a little sunshine with me to make my days even more brighter and sometimes  very very stressful. But that's motherhood. It comes with hard and long days but ends with the most amazing kisses and love. Don't think I don't loose it, I do but that's being a mum.

Thank you for reading my year 2015. Hope you all had a good year 2015. I am happy to have chat about motherhood and any other relating problems.

Being a single mother is hard.  A big HATTS OFF to all single mums out their, not everyone can be a mum. So ENJOY it..

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Tips for Shopping day to be an Easy Day

I remember when shopping days were simple, easy and quick. When going to shopping used to be another way to relax and have a great day out. But ever since I have become a mum it seems like I have lost the track of how I thought shopping was supposed to be relaxing?

Now going to shopping is like going around in circles in one isle. Yes of course when your little one is too independent to sit on a pram or a trolley than there is no way out. Even though we mums love our little ones but the truth is all of us hate doing shopping with them, specially when we are in rush and are on strict time schedule. Here are some of the tricks and tips which has worked for me so far. I must mention they don't work everytime but even if they work 6 out of 10 that is good. Right?

Tips to Make Shopping Day an Easy Day with our little ones:-

1. Don't try to be a Super Mum:- Before you get out of the car and grab that trolley, just give a reminder to yourself that you are not a super mum, lol. I know most of us don't even want to think that we are not super mums. But what I have learned from my parenting of last 4 years, that when we try too hard to become a 10/10 mum than somehow we unintentionally start having high expectation from our little one. And in most cases that's the problem. For example, when your little one start giving a tantrum in the middle of the isle, than instead of getting frustrated (as you want to do everything on time/ being a super mum), try giving a cuddle for a minute or two and you will see how your little one will calm down (In most cases).

2. Let Your Little Helpers Help You:- Yes I know we mums are always in rush and letting the little one help could be one more job. No harm giving it a go, specially when you know that bub is going to run here and there in the shop and you will end up following him/her anyway. So give it a shot, ask them to help you. My little girl don't want to sit in the trolley and want to run around in the grocery shop. After many days like this, one day I asked her to help me doing shopping. Not only she helped me but I didn't even had to run after her from one isle to the other, as she was busy finding things I told her to, and I only gave her things which were present in the same isle as me. It was like a hide and seek with grocery. She enjoyed it and so did I. It might have took 5 extra minutes but it saved my 10 minutes to run after her and I didn't got annoyed. Win Win Situation..

3. One Treat Wont Harm Anyone:- We Mums know what is best for our little one. I do not like the idea of giving treats to kids all the time. But on a day when you know that your little one is in a little cranky mood and you cannot skip shopping, you can offer a little treat. You are the best judge what to offer to your bub, in my case my little girl love yoghurt and crackers. So on a day when she is tired or hungry and I have to go shopping urgently, I first go straight to yoghurt and take few pouches for her and give her one by one. And surprisingly usually she do not like to sit on the pram or trolley, but when she knows she will get to eat something she likes she does. When she is enjoying sipping at the yummy yoghurt I finish the quick shop. Not a bad idea huh??

4. Make Shopping a Treasure :- As a mother we know what our kid like to play the most. But shopping could be a fun thing. Try to make it as a treasure island for your bub. Kids have sharp memory, somehow we might forget things we see due to our running life, but amazingly many incidents have happened with my bub that it makes me amaze that how good kids memories are. Take advantage of that. Tel them certain product and ask them to stop you when we reach there. Give them instructions like we have to be together when we find the treasure (item/product). Might not work with every kid, but with an active kid like mine it always help. NO harm giving it go..

5. Ignore People with Grumpy Faces:- Many times I have seen people giving me bad eyes or should I say bad looks in supermarket. Every time it happens I just tell myself that its ok, this is my life and I choose my child's happiness. As long as my child is not hurting anyone or saying something disrespectful I don't have to worry about those grumpy faces. 50% of such people don't have kids themselves, so they have no idea how it is to be with a bub 24/7, so cant expect them to understand. And 30% are amazingly parents, with either really sophisticated calm kids or grown kids. Then comes those 20% beautiful smiles and eyes that says "I understand". Just pay attention to those loving eyes and give a smile back. Always remember you are the role model to your bub, so be a smiley face. SMILE :-)

6. Tel your Bub that You Love Them:- Last but not the least, tell your bub you love them. Amazingly these 4 letter words are very powerful. We as mums love our bubs to moon and back, and often feel how precious they are when they are asleep, I know I feel that too. But somehow we forget to tell them on their face or just take it for granted that they know it. When everything is going wrong and no trick is working and you just want to scream out loud and drop the bags on the floor  or whatever is getting in your mind. Just hold your bub and tell them you love them so much. This is one of those things which magically works in my case, it not only takes my stress away but also calms my little one down. Try It..

These are not super tricks, but something from my experience. It might work might not. As its hard for us, its also hard for our little ones. Never stress too much about future to ruin today. Enjoy your day out with bub, have a good laugh, enjoy their smile and always remember they will never be this age forever. And when they will grow up we will miss it.

Thanks for reading..

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First Ballet Performance

I have always been a dance and music lover, but never had a chance to do something about it professionally. Back in India its not a big thing and most parents pay attention on kids education more than extra curricular activities. My parents did the same, they gave me great education but never gave me a chance to grow my hobbies, or should I say I was also not serious enough to choose and make decisions in such areas. Just like any parent, once I became mum all my dreams and wishes came upon my little girl. Just like me she also enjoys music and dancing, plus ever since she started walking she was on her toes most of the times. Starting of last year I put her in dance classes to help her grow her hobby as a profession. All I can do from my side is help her and give her different ways to grow, rest would be her decision to make once she gets bigger.

 

I enjoyed going with her to ballet every week. Starting days were hard, as every time when we went to the class instead of dancing she used to jump and run around in the big massive room. But as the time passed, she got into the rhythm of listening to the teacher, I cant say 100% but she got much better. She is a little independent girl, she has her own way and I don't want to push her for anything. The best thing is that she enjoys going to dance class and has a good time there with her friends. As four terms passed, than it was the time for the school's dance concert. I still remember myself giggling with my friends talking about what will my little one do on stage? is she even going to move? or she is going to ran behind the stage?

 

All my fears came to an end when we went for the last rehearsal for the concert, I stayed back stage and she went with her group to practice on the stage. I looked at her performing behind the curtains so that she couldn't see me, as she always used to come out of her 30 minutes class twice to give me kiss and cuddle. Me being a mum who wants her child to learn didn't like her coming out twice but also loved her loving gesture every single time. She performed quite well as compare to what I was expecting and more than that she enjoyed and was happy in whole act.

 

Finally the concert day came, I had invited few family and friends, but unfortunately no one could make it. I was filled with emotions. I dressed her up and before leaving her back stage I gave her a big kiss and told her to just have fun. She was busy with other kids coloring and playing with toys. I went in hall and sat on my seat hoping to see a familiar face next to me, but I didn't knew anyone both sides. But as soon as the performances started I had all my eyes on the big stage and was going though funny feelings inside my heart.

My little one was in the 3rd performance, I only had to wait for 10 minutes to see her dance act. All the kids came to stage holding each others hands with two big girls who were dancing with them to help them remember their steps. I was so happy that I had a big smile on my face, I am sure if a toothpaste company would have seen me that time, they would have surely hired me for their advertisements. In like 10 seconds I couldn't see clearly as my vision got blurry and the reason was I couldn't control my tears. There I was siting among 200-300 people watching little girls dancing on Lollipop song and I was smiling with tears doing a cleansing on my face. I was happy very happy. I couldn't be more proud, she didn't ran anywhere, she did her dancing the way it was suppose to be by a 3 year old. Moreover, she also got a medal at the end.

 

We mothers are so lucky that we get blessed with these little ones who starts walking with holding our finger and than goes out in this big world and makes us proud. Life cant be better.

 

So today when you kiss your little one goodnight, stay with them for a little longer, as soon they will be big and we will miss these little little moments.

 

Thank you for Reading.

 

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