Friendship

I couldn't stop thinking about those people or should i call them friends, who are no longer in my life. The reason behind me talking about this topic is that one of my friend was complaining about her friend who doesn’t treat her right. First of all, my dear readers, if someone is not treating you right then just take a break with them there itself. It will allow you to give some time to yourself to figure out what's happening to your friendship. And, it will allow sometime for your friend to figure out if they have been mistreating you in someway and if they still want to be friends with you then they will work on it.

Friendship, as we all know is one of the most wonderful relations we have in our life. Starting from being toddlers to old age, we have friends to help us go through all ups and downs in life. If we are lucky, we will have that one friend throughout our childhood to old age. Childhood friends are like siblings, you can expect them to help you in each way and still have a big argument without worrying about losing the friend. Then come those friends which we make out of choice, like in our teenage, we meet many different types of people. We make some friends due to similarities, and with some we just end up becoming friends without any reason. All friendships are great, as they provide warmth, love, care and security.

I have many friends, but i must say i have only a few who are very close to my heart. There was a time in my life when i had heaps of friends, or i thought they were my friends. But, life's reality made me understand the difference between a friend or colleague or acquaintance. First reality check was when i moved interstate and left my job, it was like 8 out of 10 people were out of my life as they no longer required me, or should i say in a better way, that they no longer required my service at work. I must accept i didn't realize it straightaway, as i was still trying to be in touch and update everyone. But within a few months  I understood those were not my friends, those were just my colleagues who were pretending to be friends as that allows them to ask me for favors. I must admit  I felt sad, but better late than never, so I let them go.

Acquaintance could mean different things to different people according to their understanding, according to me it means those people who are known to you and are good to hangout with but once in a while. I myself became a victim of it, as i was being acquaintance to someone. One of the girls whom I knew would see me once in awhile, mostly when she would have no one to go to or talk to I guess, but will not be available when I want to do something or catch-up. It took me some time to understand that she had me in her "once in a while" call list. I didn't end friendship with her but instead put her in my "once in a while" list. And once I understood the clear meaning of these type of people now i must say I have heaps in "once in a while" list.

I must mention in my life I have also had some friends who were very nice and good friends, but after few years things changed, and instead of friendship there was anger. Till date I can't understand how it all changed but when I look back I try to only think of good moments. I remember when things changed in between us. In my effort to save our friendship I tried alot to fix things and even apologized to her so that we can over come the bad time. But it just wasn't enough for her. Its been few years to this incident, still when I think of her i still cant understand what went wrong there, as there wasn't any big reason or argument but after few attempts I stopped. I just couldn't push myself to do any more for her, not because i didn't wanted to, but because it just wasn't worth it. Friendship also requires forgiveness.

Always cherish your friendship, remember, if they are not treating you the right way, then let them go. Trust your friends but also have self respect. If they love you and want to continue the friendship then they will take the effort as well. In a friendship if you think you are always explaining yourself then it's better to finish it, as it means you two have no understanding. Friends, without whom i cannot imagine my life. We all need friends, they make us laugh and cry at the same time, sometimes due to a terrible joke or sometimes by just being a friend. Thanks to all the wonderful people who were always around me and helped me in life and made me smile. More than that, thanks to those who left me, and made me cry, since if it wasn't up-to these people I would have never have understood the real meaning of friendship and who my true friends are.


Enjoy reading, would love your comments. Thank you. :)

Blogger Mum's Weekend

It is Sunday today, luckily I woke up a bit late as my little one decided to sleep for a little longer. I was looking forward to this weekend to being a nice relaxing one. But ever since i have started planning this weekend it didn't look like I would be having a relaxed one. I started with calling a family friend who has been asking me to make some time to see them. But people being the people they are, when you make some time to see them, then they somehow take it for granted that you are available whole day. Excuse me, do I look like a person who has no work or other commitments? If that's what you had in mind about me then please go and be friends with someone else. As friendship only survives with respect and understanding, and in your case it doesn't look like you cherish any of those.

Me and my little one had a great Saturday, thanks to those people who first asked to see me and when I said yes let's catchup, then said sorry we don't have time. I spent my whole day with my darling girl friend and we had an awesome day. Did I mention I got my hair done? I got hair color after 4-5 years. Another advantage of being mum, you stop taking care of yourself and which is good in a way, as I stopped coloring my hair which is good for my hair as they damage hair. I am happy with the color, but did have to give myself a few days to get used to, as my eyes were used to see my natural hair from so long. Luckily, the feedback I got from few people was nice, so I am happy with the change. Sometimes we just want to change something just to break free in the normal life. And in my mummy life it usually revolves around my little one's needs and I must admit just like other mums I have ignored myself a lot.

Few days ago I read an article on yahoo about mothers risking their life, but ignoring themselves and putting other family member needs before them. Females are powerful human beings, in India they told us that that female is Goddess and we should respect and care for them. But unfortunately, these days we hear lots about women being a victim of Domestic violence. Some people think that only hitting someone is DV, thats not true. It includes verbal, mental, emotional and financial abuse as well. Like by not allowing someone to go somewhere and some do it very cleverly , instead of saying I don't want you to go, they usually play with your emotions by saying things like I don't like the way that person treats me or I don't feel comfortable with that person. As they know you being in love with them would leave that third person aside. Like many other women i have also been a victim of that. And after doing all the mean things men call themselves bigger person. But the truth is that a woman will do everything and still be down to earth. I must say not all men are like that but I am talking about those few who are abusers.

I wish one day I can do a course or open up a refuge to help women and kids in need. I hear all these people talking about women empowerment. And the funniest thing is when people who didn't want to help me in my bad days talk about women empowerment and how we all should stand together and raise awareness and help women. It makes me like them lesser and lesser. If someone you know is in trouble then you dislike them and talk behind their back. And now when everyone else is talking about helping women then you are also repeating it as a parrot for praise. 

My dear reader friends. Don't be afraid or feel judged by such people. Look at yourself. You have the power and courage to make everything possible for yourself and your little one. And trust me when within a few years you will be back to top then those people will come back. But then you would no longer need them and that will teach them a lesson that What Goes Around Comes Around. 

Have a lovely lovely weekend. Xx

Day 4 as a Blogger Mum

Today was a good day. I did my brochure distribution and arranged next week's work. Working from home has it own advantages and disadvantages. The best thing is specially when you are a mum, you can choose the hours you want to work for and the amount of work pressure you can sustain. You are your own boss, specially when working as a self business owner, where you have flexibility and desire to earn as much as you like. Also to know that there is a possibility that we can work and take care of kids at the same time. But on the other hand the disadvantage is that we can't fully focus on working hours, specially in my case where I am lazy bones, when I work I work good and when I don't want to do anything then i am totally a couch potato. So this could be another reason of my excess weight. I must mention that I was on a good diet till today afternoon, No excuse why this happened, oh yes I do have an excuse it was Woolworths, I had a yummy chocolate cake.

But I must say after eating that delicious piece of chocolate cake I felt amazing. It was like it was needed badly. Either a big craving or I can think of it as my cheat day or blame on it on another cold day. Apart from this cheat my whole day was good. Sorted my work related things and completed some appointments and made a few calls, so I think of today as a productive day work wise. I also did some research about jobs today. I am loosing my faith on Seek.com even though in past its been helpful, but lately it just seems like all the jobs advertised on it seem to be only fit for a person who is fully educated but unemployed and the same time with exceptional experience. How can a person with so much skills and education be sitting home and applying for jobs? And if no one will give a job to someone in need then how can someone ever get experience?

Enough with my job related grudge. I guess all mums struggling to get back to work go through this experience. On the street where I live a house owner is demolishing the house to build a new one. While distributing my brochures I couldn't stop noticing how the old house is gone forever and the new construction has started. It made me wonder how one day we all will be gone as well and only a new house (means our kids) will take over and proceed with life. Before becoming a mum all I could think of was about having a car, a fully furnished apartment, trips, etc etc. but after i became a mum all those things became meaningless. I just want best for my little one, it does include few of the things from that list, like a better car and possibly my own house, but the main thing that matters is to give my little one my attention, my time and my love and care. As when they grow what matters is how we have raised our child, not what all we gave them. They won't remember the presents and amount of dollars we spent on them but how much we supported, cared and loved them.

To all the dear mums, be proud of what you all do everyday. You all are doing a great job, putting your little ones needs before your needs and doing your best to give them the love and care that is required, and that is not an easy job. And trust me if a person gives you advise about raising your child, specially a person who is not parent, then listen to their advise but do what you think is best for your child. As you have known your child from childhood and know what's into your child's best interest. Every child is different and special. Love them and care for them. When they will be adults than it wont matter what all they messed up in toddler or kinder age. And trust me you wont even remember it by than. By what i have known from my parents i was the most mischievous kid, and wouldn't sit still. But i turned out to be a normal human being, lol. I am an adult and sit nicely when i am suppose to be and don't jump on couches anymore, thanks to my parents for letting me enjoy the childhood. As we all know childhood don't last forever. One day our little ones will be big and than we will miss these all childhood cute moments. So, have a big cuddle with your little one, tell them how much you love them and last but not least, be easy on yourself. You all doing a great job.

So,
Today's job search result:- Job search continued.
Highlight of the day:- Yummy Chocolate Cake.
Feeling :- Mischievous.
Expecting:- To do something new everyday.
Hope:- To enjoy my little one's childhood.

Thank you for reading it.

Day 3 as a Blogger Mum

Last night I started to think about all the bucket list which i made couple of years ago. That list was suppose to have 100 things in it to do before i die, but somehow i only end up writing 56, I have done few of them but still along way to go. I put the chart up behind the door just to remind myself to at least try to do something new everyday. Even if i don't fully succeed at least i should try my best. Reading that list did give me a better hope and expectation from myself, which this morning was still with me. I am all up and got the new thing to do today. Remembering my own childhood rain memory with my mum and my siblings. I am all set to make a memory for my DD. A little rain not too much as don't want to get her sick as well.

That's another motherhood day to day worry, to at least try not to get our little one sick. We are up and its still dark outside. Weather forecast shows it will be a raining and cold day here in Melbourne. Everyone knows in Melbourne you can see all different seasons in one day. So be prepared. My little one is watching Inside Out. I love this movie, even when it is for kids still it helped me as well to understand emotions which we as adults tend to ignore sometimes as we think we are adult enough to cope with everything. I wish it was, the easy day for me is when its just me and my little one. This is the stage of life in parenthood when only friends who are parent can understand you better. I have lost many friends just because of my commitment as a mother and we having different preferences of enjoyment. We mothers choose places which are kid friendly and according to the timing of the day. Depending upon if our little one has had an afternoon nap or no. Because trust me only mums can understand what it is to be with a cranky kid who missed afternoon nap or is just too tired to sit nicely in a cafe.

All parents know and learn by there own experience. My little one is an active kid always eager to learn, so i don't know how it is to be with a kid who is bit calmer and sits on one place, as mine like to jump around and always doing gymnastics in my lounge. But when i look around kids sitting with the ipads and not even saying Hi to the person next, than i fall in love with my little one a bit more. She keeps me occupied and the sweetest thing is that she will always greet the person next to us in a lift or shopping. In the last few years i have changed from being over friendly to control myself to the place where i interact but depending upon the person. luckily i am in Melbourne where people are friendly and mostly you will get a smile back for a smile. But there is always two faces of a picture.

Funny thing is when i did the InsideOut character test for me i was given the character of BingBong. There are few people like me around. i don't know if that is truth, but i was happy as i liked that character in movie. And i am happy that my little one finally moved from Frozen to InsideOut. Means i can do a new theme party for her next birthday.

I read a very interesting article talking about how for few people it is shame to be divorced. I am so glad to be a part of the family where everyone accepted my decision and been so supportive. I did lost few relatives and friends with my divorce as they had a mentality about woman only being puppet of man. I must say they never said anything on my face but when someone goes through my situation these kind of people show their true color. And trust me that was best thing for me as i no longer have such fake people in my life anymore. Always think when someone you leave or are gone, it's for your good. 

So,
Today's job search result:-  No Job applied.
Highlight of the day:- My bucket list
Feeling :- Great
Expecting:- To do something new everyday.
Hope:- To write a blog everyday.

Thank you for reading it.

Day 2 as a Blogger Mum

We mums do not need an alarm clock, specially those mums with little ones who wake up early. The long term benefit of this is that we wont have to struggle to wake up kids for school later in life. But from what i have got from other mums is that kids go the other way around when school starts. So basically, this is just beginning of our motherhood love arguments.

Its raining here in Melbourne, today i hope will be a bit more productive than yesterday. Time to do some more time investment for my part-time business that i do from home. More than money i enjoy getting social with my customer and feeling of being independent and also offering others to enjoy this independence. I like rain, it reminds me of my home country India and my childhood. I along with my brother and sister used to dance around in rain in my backyard and my mum telling us to stop making a mess around with our dirty feet. Thinking about back home and my family make me smile and enjoy this rain a bit more. Been in this beautiful country Australia from so long that even when i visit my parents within few days i miss my own home, which is here.

Today's to do list is a bit better and smaller from yesterday as i managed to do my laundry and cleaning yesterday, so today will be just normal day to day chores. And of course spending some great time with my DD, watching some more Peppa Pig and than playing pretending Peppa Pig game with her where she is Peppa and i am mummy Pig. Motherhood is amazing, never knew i could love someone more than myself and be able to take care of a tiny human being. She is my precious jewel.

I got a great tip yesterday to update my resume before applying for any job. But HOW...
This will need a good research and time, as all these years i have used only one basic resume. Secretly i wish to win a lottery, not too big may be just enough to buy a house as if i deduct the rent amount than i can survive really good with one job. But in order to win a lottery i will have to invest in buying a lotto, and my past experience has not been good so i am not quite convinced that my lottery plan will work here. So lottery plan is a back up plan with a very low chance.

Luckily i stick on my diet yesterday, but did indulged myself in yummy food cooked by a friend, yummy Cauliflower Manchurian. Sometimes i feel its very hard for those people to loose weight those who can cook well. As they will have to eventually cook something either for themselves or for house members. And while cooking its very hard to not crave for the food specially when you are going to try it for taste.

And worst is when you are mum/storage.

Mum/Storage means that anything left over from kids or in plate or one last bite goes to mums tummy as a storage, all mums can relate to this as i blame it for my extra weight. Or i should say i eat to comfort myself or just when i am bored? Today i am going to cleanup my pantry for any extra things which i dont eat anymore + food that i should be avoiding and can distract me in my weight loss journey which has just started few days ago.

My DD is at this age now where she understands that in a family there is a mum + dad and a baby. I have told her that i am her mummy and daddy, she don't quite believe me but she does trust my words and always gives me a smile when i say this to her. If i would have had a broken marriage and no kid, than i would have had a bad memory of that marriage. But thanks to my daughter that now when i look back i don't see it as a complete failure. I cant imagine my life without her and she wouldn't have been in my life if i wouldn't have got married. This whole idea does makes me believe in 'Whatever Happens Happens for a Reason'. Good things will finally come your way. Keeping this great thought with me, i wish today goes well.

Just want to say, that today might be a really bad day for few of us but just go through it as a chapter of life and close it so that we can open a new one, and if there is no new chapter than don't be too afraid to write one, there is always extra sheets provided in examination halls, and this life is our examination hall.


So,
Today's job search result:-  Time to make some changes in resume.
Highlight of the day:- Wrote my Second blog
Feeling :- Happy.
Expecting:- to see Sun.
Hope:- Good things will finally come our way.

Thank you for reading it.

Life of a Single Mum: Day 1

Life of a Single Mum: Day 1: Yes finally I started what I have been thinking of doing from a long time. Yes I started a blog. With no idea who will even read it or who ...

Day 1 as a Blogger Mum

Yes, I finally started what I have been thinking of doing since a long time. Yes I started a blog. With no idea who will read it or even who will have time in the busy running life to read about one more single mum struggling and also loving the way life treats us. Today after dropping my little girl at day care I did some home chores and took care of the little home business that I run and then was just sitting in front of the laptop trying to figure out how I can reduce some weight for the summer, which by the way is almost here. So chances are low but still I think of losing weight every single day. I think it's every girl's secret thought.

I also did some work search as I am always looking for a part-time job but with no luck. Websites like seek.com only seem to help those with full time availability. For mums like me there are minimal job offers and even if there are any, they are mostly taken by highly experienced people. So people like me with less availability and comparatively less experience have no chance.

I am looking at the dining table with all the mess on top of it and thinking I should try to keep it clean and also donate some of my daughter's old toys. Or I should say I am making lists in my head of what all I need to do today. Some shopping, cleaning, cooking etc. and the list goes on.

Sitting in my small messy apartment I feel happy with the thought that I am free. I have freedom to do what I like and when I like. I have no pressure of any sort from anyone to do anything. Freedom of being a single mum.  Sometimes I feel I am still not over the emotional damage my ex-marriage did. I have learned how to love myself but still I have no time for anyone in my life other than my daughter. She is my survival and my full support. She calls me her only best friend, I don't even know if she knows the meaning of it but I love when she says it to me and I reply to her saying that she is my best friend too and she gives me a cuddle and makes me feel like a million dollars. I look at her and feel blessed and thank God for giving her to me.

I must say it feels great to write here. Like how we used to have a secret diary and pen in schools. Now a days we are more tech savvy and we use laptops. Still it feels good to write what goes on in my head here.

So,
Today's job search result:-  No job applied.
Highlight of the day:- Wrote my first blog
Feeling :- neither happy nor sad.
Expecting:- to stick to my diet today
Hope:- Someone will read my blog

Thank you for reading it.