Another Year of Survival Being a MUM. 2015

Here we all, its 31st Dec 2015. One more year is gone, just like the blink of an eye. But the truth is nothing much changes for a mother, I am doing what I was doing last day of 2014 evening. My daughter is asleep and I have some my time to sit relax and think that one more year and sadly I have no one to spend this new year with. I must mention I have friends (lots lots friends) and few relatives as well. But usually people have plans of their own and they don't like to ruin it with single mums like me. Its the harsh truth and only mums in my situation can understand what I mean.

 

The only good thing is that I get to sit in my home and be thoughtful about the choices I make next year, specially from the bitter experience of last year. It doesn't always have to be a heartbreak from a lover. It could be unfortunately done by anyone in our life. Specially when someone like me who lives alone with a little one, not many like to hang around with me. As hanging out with me would mean with my child as well, and not everyone accepts that. Even though they say so. Many people have canceled their plans with me because of other better plans. When I think of them I just thank that I am not such person. I have never canceled my plans with my friends with kids even when I was not a mum.

 

The good thing was I did some good things in year 2015

 

- I donated blood and plasma for first time

- I helped others without any expectation

- Got my Citizenship

- Had my photo-shoot done with Avon

- Got my hair highlights done after 6 years

- Experienced my little girl's first ever performance on stage
- Learner truth about selfish people again.
- Start writing my Blog

 

 

Things I actually wanted to do in year 2015

 

- Loose some weight

- Get a good job

- Travel Europe

- Move apartments

- Go on a date

- Watch new year fire works


Overall good things list seems longer than the things I couldn't do. I feel happy and content. The best this is I got a little sunshine with me to make my days even more brighter and sometimes  very very stressful. But that's motherhood. It comes with hard and long days but ends with the most amazing kisses and love. Don't think I don't loose it, I do but that's being a mum.

Thank you for reading my year 2015. Hope you all had a good year 2015. I am happy to have chat about motherhood and any other relating problems.

Being a single mother is hard.  A big HATTS OFF to all single mums out their, not everyone can be a mum. So ENJOY it..

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Tips for Shopping day to be an Easy Day

I remember when shopping days were simple, easy and quick. When going to shopping used to be another way to relax and have a great day out. But ever since I have become a mum it seems like I have lost the track of how I thought shopping was supposed to be relaxing?

Now going to shopping is like going around in circles in one isle. Yes of course when your little one is too independent to sit on a pram or a trolley than there is no way out. Even though we mums love our little ones but the truth is all of us hate doing shopping with them, specially when we are in rush and are on strict time schedule. Here are some of the tricks and tips which has worked for me so far. I must mention they don't work everytime but even if they work 6 out of 10 that is good. Right?

Tips to Make Shopping Day an Easy Day with our little ones:-

1. Don't try to be a Super Mum:- Before you get out of the car and grab that trolley, just give a reminder to yourself that you are not a super mum, lol. I know most of us don't even want to think that we are not super mums. But what I have learned from my parenting of last 4 years, that when we try too hard to become a 10/10 mum than somehow we unintentionally start having high expectation from our little one. And in most cases that's the problem. For example, when your little one start giving a tantrum in the middle of the isle, than instead of getting frustrated (as you want to do everything on time/ being a super mum), try giving a cuddle for a minute or two and you will see how your little one will calm down (In most cases).

2. Let Your Little Helpers Help You:- Yes I know we mums are always in rush and letting the little one help could be one more job. No harm giving it a go, specially when you know that bub is going to run here and there in the shop and you will end up following him/her anyway. So give it a shot, ask them to help you. My little girl don't want to sit in the trolley and want to run around in the grocery shop. After many days like this, one day I asked her to help me doing shopping. Not only she helped me but I didn't even had to run after her from one isle to the other, as she was busy finding things I told her to, and I only gave her things which were present in the same isle as me. It was like a hide and seek with grocery. She enjoyed it and so did I. It might have took 5 extra minutes but it saved my 10 minutes to run after her and I didn't got annoyed. Win Win Situation..

3. One Treat Wont Harm Anyone:- We Mums know what is best for our little one. I do not like the idea of giving treats to kids all the time. But on a day when you know that your little one is in a little cranky mood and you cannot skip shopping, you can offer a little treat. You are the best judge what to offer to your bub, in my case my little girl love yoghurt and crackers. So on a day when she is tired or hungry and I have to go shopping urgently, I first go straight to yoghurt and take few pouches for her and give her one by one. And surprisingly usually she do not like to sit on the pram or trolley, but when she knows she will get to eat something she likes she does. When she is enjoying sipping at the yummy yoghurt I finish the quick shop. Not a bad idea huh??

4. Make Shopping a Treasure :- As a mother we know what our kid like to play the most. But shopping could be a fun thing. Try to make it as a treasure island for your bub. Kids have sharp memory, somehow we might forget things we see due to our running life, but amazingly many incidents have happened with my bub that it makes me amaze that how good kids memories are. Take advantage of that. Tel them certain product and ask them to stop you when we reach there. Give them instructions like we have to be together when we find the treasure (item/product). Might not work with every kid, but with an active kid like mine it always help. NO harm giving it go..

5. Ignore People with Grumpy Faces:- Many times I have seen people giving me bad eyes or should I say bad looks in supermarket. Every time it happens I just tell myself that its ok, this is my life and I choose my child's happiness. As long as my child is not hurting anyone or saying something disrespectful I don't have to worry about those grumpy faces. 50% of such people don't have kids themselves, so they have no idea how it is to be with a bub 24/7, so cant expect them to understand. And 30% are amazingly parents, with either really sophisticated calm kids or grown kids. Then comes those 20% beautiful smiles and eyes that says "I understand". Just pay attention to those loving eyes and give a smile back. Always remember you are the role model to your bub, so be a smiley face. SMILE :-)

6. Tel your Bub that You Love Them:- Last but not the least, tell your bub you love them. Amazingly these 4 letter words are very powerful. We as mums love our bubs to moon and back, and often feel how precious they are when they are asleep, I know I feel that too. But somehow we forget to tell them on their face or just take it for granted that they know it. When everything is going wrong and no trick is working and you just want to scream out loud and drop the bags on the floor  or whatever is getting in your mind. Just hold your bub and tell them you love them so much. This is one of those things which magically works in my case, it not only takes my stress away but also calms my little one down. Try It..

These are not super tricks, but something from my experience. It might work might not. As its hard for us, its also hard for our little ones. Never stress too much about future to ruin today. Enjoy your day out with bub, have a good laugh, enjoy their smile and always remember they will never be this age forever. And when they will grow up we will miss it.

Thanks for reading..

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Job Hunting for a Single Mother

I always thought when the right time will come than everything will fall in the place and there will be no cliché. In the running, day to day life I kept this window in my heart which allowed me to look outside in a closer and calmer way. I am just like any other normal girl who struggle with day to day things and dreams big at night. Time is a big healer. It allows to forget people or hurtful incidents. Unfortunately it also makes us forget that how someone once loved us or vice versa. I also forgot the bad past and have a hope to fix the future, but this hope is not always helpful. In real life you need connections and its the hurtful truth but it is true that you need money as well. And for money we need a job.

I always thought life could be easy and simple, if we try and give our best. But the truth is it is not, regardless how much you try and keep it simple, it just gets more and more complicated. Like facebook complicated status life also gives us various relation updates, it doesn't have to be with other people, most of the time it is our personal relation with ourself. She came to a new land thinking making her life better and proving her independence to herself and her family. It didn't quite end up the way she thought it would be, life got more and more ups/downs. Here in Australia is also like India, you need links and specially need money to get a job, the only difference is instead of paying to employer directly you pay to the recruitment companies. Even paying them wouldn't bother if they assure a good job 100%. The second most problem is availability, mothers don't have 24 hour 7 days availability, specially the ones raising kid on their own, and employers makes sure to each and every job that they need some one to start early and leave late and work on weekends. I do understand to run a business they need people to work those hours, but shouldn't their be should strategy to help parents like me struggling to get back to work force?

 

Those are few lucky mums who choose to take maternity leave and have easy time to go back to work as compare to mums like us who due to some personal issues have to resign and then it becomes impossible to have a normal job. I do understand for each mum leaving a child behind and going back to work is hard, but its comparatively easy when you actually have a job waiting for you, rather than starting the search and stressing about that if you will get a job call or no. Roughly I apply like 10 jobs every month and some months I donot even get a single call, Ok for a moment I can say that I could have the worst resume but even than I have a Post graduate degree, my English is if not super great than atleast its understandable, plus I have over 8 years of experience in Customer service, does that count nothing?

 

Sometimes I feel its just me getting upset about having a normal work and 9-5 routine. But when I look around I see many mums like me going through this all every single day like me. Still I put everything behind me each day and give my little girl a goodnight kiss. Always be thankful to God about each day, because even though it was not as you would want it to be, but still you had one more day to live and cherish with your loved one. All you need is hope, and you will find many things to be thankful of.

 

Result:- No job for me. lol.. I have started to feel I am in black list of companies as no one even call me. That ends my dull yet hilarious day.

 

Have a wonderful weekend readers.

 

Thank you.

:)

Day 4 as a Blogger Mum

Today was a good day. I did my brochure distribution and arranged next week's work. Working from home has it own advantages and disadvantages. The best thing is specially when you are a mum, you can choose the hours you want to work for and the amount of work pressure you can sustain. You are your own boss, specially when working as a self business owner, where you have flexibility and desire to earn as much as you like. Also to know that there is a possibility that we can work and take care of kids at the same time. But on the other hand the disadvantage is that we can't fully focus on working hours, specially in my case where I am lazy bones, when I work I work good and when I don't want to do anything then i am totally a couch potato. So this could be another reason of my excess weight. I must mention that I was on a good diet till today afternoon, No excuse why this happened, oh yes I do have an excuse it was Woolworths, I had a yummy chocolate cake.

But I must say after eating that delicious piece of chocolate cake I felt amazing. It was like it was needed badly. Either a big craving or I can think of it as my cheat day or blame on it on another cold day. Apart from this cheat my whole day was good. Sorted my work related things and completed some appointments and made a few calls, so I think of today as a productive day work wise. I also did some research about jobs today. I am loosing my faith on Seek.com even though in past its been helpful, but lately it just seems like all the jobs advertised on it seem to be only fit for a person who is fully educated but unemployed and the same time with exceptional experience. How can a person with so much skills and education be sitting home and applying for jobs? And if no one will give a job to someone in need then how can someone ever get experience?

Enough with my job related grudge. I guess all mums struggling to get back to work go through this experience. On the street where I live a house owner is demolishing the house to build a new one. While distributing my brochures I couldn't stop noticing how the old house is gone forever and the new construction has started. It made me wonder how one day we all will be gone as well and only a new house (means our kids) will take over and proceed with life. Before becoming a mum all I could think of was about having a car, a fully furnished apartment, trips, etc etc. but after i became a mum all those things became meaningless. I just want best for my little one, it does include few of the things from that list, like a better car and possibly my own house, but the main thing that matters is to give my little one my attention, my time and my love and care. As when they grow what matters is how we have raised our child, not what all we gave them. They won't remember the presents and amount of dollars we spent on them but how much we supported, cared and loved them.

To all the dear mums, be proud of what you all do everyday. You all are doing a great job, putting your little ones needs before your needs and doing your best to give them the love and care that is required, and that is not an easy job. And trust me if a person gives you advise about raising your child, specially a person who is not parent, then listen to their advise but do what you think is best for your child. As you have known your child from childhood and know what's into your child's best interest. Every child is different and special. Love them and care for them. When they will be adults than it wont matter what all they messed up in toddler or kinder age. And trust me you wont even remember it by than. By what i have known from my parents i was the most mischievous kid, and wouldn't sit still. But i turned out to be a normal human being, lol. I am an adult and sit nicely when i am suppose to be and don't jump on couches anymore, thanks to my parents for letting me enjoy the childhood. As we all know childhood don't last forever. One day our little ones will be big and than we will miss these all childhood cute moments. So, have a big cuddle with your little one, tell them how much you love them and last but not least, be easy on yourself. You all doing a great job.

So,
Today's job search result:- Job search continued.
Highlight of the day:- Yummy Chocolate Cake.
Feeling :- Mischievous.
Expecting:- To do something new everyday.
Hope:- To enjoy my little one's childhood.

Thank you for reading it.

Day 2 as a Blogger Mum

We mums do not need an alarm clock, specially those mums with little ones who wake up early. The long term benefit of this is that we wont have to struggle to wake up kids for school later in life. But from what i have got from other mums is that kids go the other way around when school starts. So basically, this is just beginning of our motherhood love arguments.

Its raining here in Melbourne, today i hope will be a bit more productive than yesterday. Time to do some more time investment for my part-time business that i do from home. More than money i enjoy getting social with my customer and feeling of being independent and also offering others to enjoy this independence. I like rain, it reminds me of my home country India and my childhood. I along with my brother and sister used to dance around in rain in my backyard and my mum telling us to stop making a mess around with our dirty feet. Thinking about back home and my family make me smile and enjoy this rain a bit more. Been in this beautiful country Australia from so long that even when i visit my parents within few days i miss my own home, which is here.

Today's to do list is a bit better and smaller from yesterday as i managed to do my laundry and cleaning yesterday, so today will be just normal day to day chores. And of course spending some great time with my DD, watching some more Peppa Pig and than playing pretending Peppa Pig game with her where she is Peppa and i am mummy Pig. Motherhood is amazing, never knew i could love someone more than myself and be able to take care of a tiny human being. She is my precious jewel.

I got a great tip yesterday to update my resume before applying for any job. But HOW...
This will need a good research and time, as all these years i have used only one basic resume. Secretly i wish to win a lottery, not too big may be just enough to buy a house as if i deduct the rent amount than i can survive really good with one job. But in order to win a lottery i will have to invest in buying a lotto, and my past experience has not been good so i am not quite convinced that my lottery plan will work here. So lottery plan is a back up plan with a very low chance.

Luckily i stick on my diet yesterday, but did indulged myself in yummy food cooked by a friend, yummy Cauliflower Manchurian. Sometimes i feel its very hard for those people to loose weight those who can cook well. As they will have to eventually cook something either for themselves or for house members. And while cooking its very hard to not crave for the food specially when you are going to try it for taste.

And worst is when you are mum/storage.

Mum/Storage means that anything left over from kids or in plate or one last bite goes to mums tummy as a storage, all mums can relate to this as i blame it for my extra weight. Or i should say i eat to comfort myself or just when i am bored? Today i am going to cleanup my pantry for any extra things which i dont eat anymore + food that i should be avoiding and can distract me in my weight loss journey which has just started few days ago.

My DD is at this age now where she understands that in a family there is a mum + dad and a baby. I have told her that i am her mummy and daddy, she don't quite believe me but she does trust my words and always gives me a smile when i say this to her. If i would have had a broken marriage and no kid, than i would have had a bad memory of that marriage. But thanks to my daughter that now when i look back i don't see it as a complete failure. I cant imagine my life without her and she wouldn't have been in my life if i wouldn't have got married. This whole idea does makes me believe in 'Whatever Happens Happens for a Reason'. Good things will finally come your way. Keeping this great thought with me, i wish today goes well.

Just want to say, that today might be a really bad day for few of us but just go through it as a chapter of life and close it so that we can open a new one, and if there is no new chapter than don't be too afraid to write one, there is always extra sheets provided in examination halls, and this life is our examination hall.


So,
Today's job search result:-  Time to make some changes in resume.
Highlight of the day:- Wrote my Second blog
Feeling :- Happy.
Expecting:- to see Sun.
Hope:- Good things will finally come our way.

Thank you for reading it.