My Independence Day aka The day i left an Abusive Relation

Today 4 years ago I left the most disturbing and controlling relation, I could never forget today's date and celebrate it as my Independence Day. I am free and happy now but that wasn't the case 4 years ago. I thought I would be stuck with him forever but luckily I flew away and that was the best decision I ever made. Now when I look at my little one I feel more proud of myself for leaving that abusive relationship. If my daughter would have been witnessed all the drama going on in my life due to a bad partner, she would have thought it is normal for a guy to treat a woman like this. But that's not the case now, and I am happy about that. I am single and a mother to a fabulous girl and my life couldn't be better. I am happy in my little family and that's the way it should be.

 

I remember when I was in that relation I use to avoid looking at myself in mirror, it used to make me more sad and depressed about my life with him. It was like walking on egg shells, anything could happen anytime, he could loose it anytime and start screaming and blaming me. Been with him was the biggest mistake of my life but I got something amazing out of it that is my daughter. Before the marriage he was a nice normal guy or may be I missed the signs that he was insane. Once we were married I saw change in his behavior towards all the women in his life which includes me, his mother and sisters. But as it was all very new to me and him, I decided to give it all abit more time and wait for everything to settle down, but what I have learned is that they never change. Can I change my behavior? NO. So how did I even think he can be something better? I know it was that girl inside me who wanted my marriage to work out and was giving him more and more chances to fix the things.

 

Unfortunately we are surrounded by people who judge us by status Single - Married - Divorced. A majority of people think that girls like me who fall in Divorced category are ready to go out with anyone and are the one to be blamed for the whole relationship fall down. I don't even have to go far to friends, in my own family I got many people who gave me that look when I left him. I must say it did broke my heart but it didn't made me change my mind, it just made me look more clearer that those people who are not happy with my decision are actually the one with this cheap mentality that a women is below men, and that's not how I have been raised. My father is a very loving and caring father and husband, it doesn't mean they never had fights or there were never problems, but they went through all the problems together and still there for each other. It gives me great satisfaction that I had a great picture in my heart about the perfect man and that made me move on from that relation.

 

Today I want to thank all the lovely people who cared about me and stood beside me through that hard time, they are a hand few and better than having heaps of Frenemies. One angel like cousin and his wife, couple of friends + my loving family stood beside me when I took the decision. That's all what it takes few close friends/relatives to make you feel more confident and think clearer. Thank you to all those who supported me and I can never express the love and respect I have for you in my heart. Plus even more thankful to those who didn't care and were gossiping about me being a bad wife, as you all give me that push to go on and do more and prove you wrong. Now I am here happy and content. I want to share my story so any women out there suffering what I suffered before can read it and if its even 1% helpful to them I will be very happy.

 

Ps feel free to share your story or any support you need. xx

 

Thank you for reading.

 

Keep Smiling :)

Day 3 as a Blogger Mum

Last night I started to think about all the bucket list which i made couple of years ago. That list was suppose to have 100 things in it to do before i die, but somehow i only end up writing 56, I have done few of them but still along way to go. I put the chart up behind the door just to remind myself to at least try to do something new everyday. Even if i don't fully succeed at least i should try my best. Reading that list did give me a better hope and expectation from myself, which this morning was still with me. I am all up and got the new thing to do today. Remembering my own childhood rain memory with my mum and my siblings. I am all set to make a memory for my DD. A little rain not too much as don't want to get her sick as well.

That's another motherhood day to day worry, to at least try not to get our little one sick. We are up and its still dark outside. Weather forecast shows it will be a raining and cold day here in Melbourne. Everyone knows in Melbourne you can see all different seasons in one day. So be prepared. My little one is watching Inside Out. I love this movie, even when it is for kids still it helped me as well to understand emotions which we as adults tend to ignore sometimes as we think we are adult enough to cope with everything. I wish it was, the easy day for me is when its just me and my little one. This is the stage of life in parenthood when only friends who are parent can understand you better. I have lost many friends just because of my commitment as a mother and we having different preferences of enjoyment. We mothers choose places which are kid friendly and according to the timing of the day. Depending upon if our little one has had an afternoon nap or no. Because trust me only mums can understand what it is to be with a cranky kid who missed afternoon nap or is just too tired to sit nicely in a cafe.

All parents know and learn by there own experience. My little one is an active kid always eager to learn, so i don't know how it is to be with a kid who is bit calmer and sits on one place, as mine like to jump around and always doing gymnastics in my lounge. But when i look around kids sitting with the ipads and not even saying Hi to the person next, than i fall in love with my little one a bit more. She keeps me occupied and the sweetest thing is that she will always greet the person next to us in a lift or shopping. In the last few years i have changed from being over friendly to control myself to the place where i interact but depending upon the person. luckily i am in Melbourne where people are friendly and mostly you will get a smile back for a smile. But there is always two faces of a picture.

Funny thing is when i did the InsideOut character test for me i was given the character of BingBong. There are few people like me around. i don't know if that is truth, but i was happy as i liked that character in movie. And i am happy that my little one finally moved from Frozen to InsideOut. Means i can do a new theme party for her next birthday.

I read a very interesting article talking about how for few people it is shame to be divorced. I am so glad to be a part of the family where everyone accepted my decision and been so supportive. I did lost few relatives and friends with my divorce as they had a mentality about woman only being puppet of man. I must say they never said anything on my face but when someone goes through my situation these kind of people show their true color. And trust me that was best thing for me as i no longer have such fake people in my life anymore. Always think when someone you leave or are gone, it's for your good. 

So,
Today's job search result:-  No Job applied.
Highlight of the day:- My bucket list
Feeling :- Great
Expecting:- To do something new everyday.
Hope:- To write a blog everyday.

Thank you for reading it.