My Independence Day aka The day i left an Abusive Relation

Today 4 years ago I left the most disturbing and controlling relation, I could never forget today's date and celebrate it as my Independence Day. I am free and happy now but that wasn't the case 4 years ago. I thought I would be stuck with him forever but luckily I flew away and that was the best decision I ever made. Now when I look at my little one I feel more proud of myself for leaving that abusive relationship. If my daughter would have been witnessed all the drama going on in my life due to a bad partner, she would have thought it is normal for a guy to treat a woman like this. But that's not the case now, and I am happy about that. I am single and a mother to a fabulous girl and my life couldn't be better. I am happy in my little family and that's the way it should be.

 

I remember when I was in that relation I use to avoid looking at myself in mirror, it used to make me more sad and depressed about my life with him. It was like walking on egg shells, anything could happen anytime, he could loose it anytime and start screaming and blaming me. Been with him was the biggest mistake of my life but I got something amazing out of it that is my daughter. Before the marriage he was a nice normal guy or may be I missed the signs that he was insane. Once we were married I saw change in his behavior towards all the women in his life which includes me, his mother and sisters. But as it was all very new to me and him, I decided to give it all abit more time and wait for everything to settle down, but what I have learned is that they never change. Can I change my behavior? NO. So how did I even think he can be something better? I know it was that girl inside me who wanted my marriage to work out and was giving him more and more chances to fix the things.

 

Unfortunately we are surrounded by people who judge us by status Single - Married - Divorced. A majority of people think that girls like me who fall in Divorced category are ready to go out with anyone and are the one to be blamed for the whole relationship fall down. I don't even have to go far to friends, in my own family I got many people who gave me that look when I left him. I must say it did broke my heart but it didn't made me change my mind, it just made me look more clearer that those people who are not happy with my decision are actually the one with this cheap mentality that a women is below men, and that's not how I have been raised. My father is a very loving and caring father and husband, it doesn't mean they never had fights or there were never problems, but they went through all the problems together and still there for each other. It gives me great satisfaction that I had a great picture in my heart about the perfect man and that made me move on from that relation.

 

Today I want to thank all the lovely people who cared about me and stood beside me through that hard time, they are a hand few and better than having heaps of Frenemies. One angel like cousin and his wife, couple of friends + my loving family stood beside me when I took the decision. That's all what it takes few close friends/relatives to make you feel more confident and think clearer. Thank you to all those who supported me and I can never express the love and respect I have for you in my heart. Plus even more thankful to those who didn't care and were gossiping about me being a bad wife, as you all give me that push to go on and do more and prove you wrong. Now I am here happy and content. I want to share my story so any women out there suffering what I suffered before can read it and if its even 1% helpful to them I will be very happy.

 

Ps feel free to share your story or any support you need. xx

 

Thank you for reading.

 

Keep Smiling :)

Before you get a Tattoo

Getting a tattoo has been on my bucket list for approximately 8-9 years. I never actually knew what I want or where I want so I didn't actually went for it, but when I become mum I knew I wanted my little one's name. So this year finally I got it and I must say I am loving it. Even though it is my first tattoo and still in process of healing, I am already planning what I want as my next tattoo. Before I went and got it done I did some online research about all the cons and pros of getting a tattoo. So here I am preparing a one page for all the little bits and pieces you would like to know before you get one.

 

1. Yes it does hurt:- It does depend upon individual and their body, as some are very sensitive to pain and others are not. Me being a female and scared of needles, did got a bit scared when I saw the needle and the gun. It was similar to a burn hurt but I survived, I must say I can never see needles and still went through a tattoo and is now happy with it. I choose not to look at it when it was in process.

 

2. Get something Small:- Give yourself enough time to think about what you want as your first tattoo and if possible think of something smaller. Not only it will give you time about if you want one or no, but also give you an idea about how much pain can you tolerate. Ps you can always go for a bigger one if you are happy with your first one. Yayy.. :)

 

3. Find a Professional Tattoo Artist:- You want a tattoo and have decided what you want, now time is to spend some quality time finding a professional artist. If you need help then ask your friends who got few tattoos already, yes it does help I asked one of my friends who got tattoos and she helped me go to one of the professional ones, he did charged a bit more but was very kind, generous, understanding and a wonderful artist. He made me feel comfortable and kept me occupied in talking to distract me while the procedure.

 

4. Make an Appointment:- So you have thought enough and decided what you want plus also know which artist you want it from, the next step would be to make an appointment with the artist. Not only you will save yourself time waiting in the parlor but also be more relaxed if you go on a fixed time and get served immediately. All is set now, go for it.

 

5. Buy aftercare ointment in advance:- Aftercare is must for a tattoo, as some people also bleed during getting one. I was lucky that my tattoo didn't bleed but I did had swollen skin and was sore for like 2-3 days. I had to rush from the tattoo parlor to chemist to get Bepanthen (antiseptic cream) ointment which is must to put on the tattoo for several weeks after getting the tattoo. It not only helps with the healing but also keep it safe from getting infected. I would suggest to have it before hand as if you get hurt from tattoo and want to go home straight away after getting your tattoo then you can.

6. Read the aftercare sheet:- Your artist will give you an aftercare sheet to keep, I would suggest while you are getting your tattoo done to read it and ask as many questions you have regarding the tattoo and its day to day care.

7. Don't scratch your tattoo:- Donot scratch it, no matter how much itchy it is, use the ointment and it will help it getting better. Itching is the worst thing you can do to infected your tattoo. Remember your skin was burned and got injected with color in it, your skin is not used to this so it is going to itch when your tattoo is in process of healing. If itching is out of control contact your artist asap or see a doctor.

8. Ignore other people Judgment:- One thing that will happen to you if you got a tattoo at a visible place is that other people will give you good or bad feedback depending upon their liking. Remember one thing, you got this tattoo because you like it and you wanted it, don't let other people mess your head if they don't like it than what? you didn't asked them to have it. Its yours and you love it, enjoy your first tattoo.

Enjoy Your first tattoo, I am sure just like me you will start planning what you want your second tattoo to be. Its an addiction, love it. Don't forget to share some comments and photos of your tattoos..

Have a wonderful day..

Keep Smiling.. xx
 

Jamberry Nail Wrap Review

In a busy mum's life it is almost impossible to do things like going to a spa or getting a manicure or pedicure. From many year we have been hearing about nail stickers which reduces time and effort to go to a nail shop plus are easily available online. I have heard a lot about Jamberry Nail wraps and was looking forward to try some out. So I contacted one of their consultant for some samples. I got the samples in couple of days in post and was very eagerly waiting for my little one to sleep so I can have a nail makeover.

 

 

I got the pack with all the things in the above picture plus the nail wrap. Now I will start explaining everything with steps:-

 

1. Use Moisturizing hand cream to moisture your hands so they are nicely moisturized.

 

2. Use Nail Prep wipe to wipe your nails so that they are nice and clean.

 

3. Use the nail wrap sheet to match it to your nails (finger or toe).

 

4. It tells you to use some sort of heat to warm the wrap before putting it on nails, I used my hair dryer and it worked fine. So use the dryer on the minimum heat to warm the wrap and then press it on your nail.

 

5. The rubber cuticle pusher is a must to use after putting the wrap on the nail to make it smooth and stick properly.

 

6. If you are someone like me with small nails then all you need to do is cut the left over extra nail wrap with scissors and you can use the nail filer to make the it trim properly, but make sure you file the extra bit in a downward motion.

 

7. Use the dryer after you put the nail wrap to your nails, it helps with them to stick properly and stay longer.

 

This is all you need for this quick nail makeover. Took me around 5 minutes to do all.

Only thing I struggled with is my right hand, it was very easy to do on left hand, as I am a right hand user. Even though it was my first time experimenting these wraps, I like the after result and expecting that next time will be more easier to do on right hand.

 

And here is the final result (Would like to mention I donot have model like hands, but doing a review from one mum to other mums). As every mum is looking for time saving tip and this could be one of the tip for many mums, to save a trip to nail saloon on those super busy days.

 

 

 I am happy with the result, I received Masala Chai Sample. I have done dishes, clothes and other day to day chores of a mum and even after 4 days they are still the same.

 

Pros:- Easy to apply, quick delivery, long lasting, huge variety, but three wrap sheets get one free

Cons:- Hard to do on the alternate hand if you have no help(might get better by practice), abit overpriced ($22 individual wrap sheet price which includes hands and toes, but do give one sheet free if you buy three)

Overall, I wouldn't mind using a wrap every now or then but will wait for specials (as I believe like every company Jamberry must have special price reductions sometimes during the year). And will probably apply them when I have a friend over to help me with my right hand application.

As I mentioned before the sample were provided by Jamberry consultant and anyone of you looking forward to enjoy a nail makeover then here is the website link for Australia

https://donashelly.jamberry.com/au/en/



Jamberry is available in NewZealand, Canada, UK, Australia and Canada. Have a look through the website for any more information.

Thank you for reading my Jamberry Review.  Don't forget to share your review in comments.

Have a wonderful day and keep smiling. xx


 

Violence against Women, Still a Long way to go...

We entered 2016 two months ago, its a high technology time where time is money and technology help us save our time. Even though in this high tech time we lack in some social issues, specially with women. We have accomplished solutions to many social problems but still one aspect that needs more awareness is Abuse against Women. I have been a Domestic Violence victim before, so know how it feels like to be in trap and scared. Luckily I escaped and now I am away from all the traps and that suffocation relation. But last week something happened which made me realize that even though we have raised a lot of awareness about DV, but still abuse is something that can happen to any women anywhere, anytime. It can happen even at a very crowded place like it happened to me with a total stranger and only I stood for myself and my daughter, not even a single person came and helped. I know what you must be thinking, that's what I think as well when I see all those videos done by people showing how one person is pretending to be abused and public comes and help.

Trust me that happened to me and not even a single person from public came to help and tell the rude person off who was verbally abusing me because I am a woman. Yes that was a Sexism abuse, and what made that guy more mad was that I told him to stop it. Let me take you through the whole incident.

 

Date:- 26/2/2016

Time:- 11 am (approximately)

Place:- GESAC

We were having some water play in the play area in Gesac, all of the sudden this Asian guy came and screamed at my daughter in a very rude and high voice because apparently some water got splashed at his son, which was not even intentional and I must mention his Son was fine, happy and enjoying. As my daughter was only a second away from me I quickly went to her and told that guy to not to talk to my daughter like that. His reply was straight away that what do I know as I am a F***** B**** as I am a Woman. To tell you the truth I was shocked for a minute as I had my child with my and so did he and still he was swearing in public place with lots of families.

I told him to mind his language, but he was talking like if he has learned only swearing in his school days. While telling him off I quickly raised my hand for the nearby staff so they can come and do something about this rude and racist guy. I could see so much hate on that Asian guy's face which I am sure was due to the fact that I am an Indian, Woman and on top I told him off for his rude behavior. The staff who came was a teenage boy and he called the Duty Manager. Even in front of the Staff he was still abusing me and calling me an idiot, which clearly showed he had no ethics or what so ever etiquettes. I felt pity on his son and could see what kind of future he will give to his son. When he saw the Duty manager he went back to water with his son, away from us asif he knew no one will do anything about it, and that's exactly what happened.

I complained to the Duty Manager about this incident, and the reply I got was that he will keep an eye on him. I was even more shocked at the way Gesac reacted on this incident was like nothing happened. Still me being upset as I didn't had in my plan for that day to be abused, screamed and sweared at, I went to the reception to complaint to someone in management. When I told the guy on the reception the whole thing he went inside and came back in not even a minute and told me that someone is going to have a look at it and will resolve it, and I told him I want them to take action and let me know the result or I will call Police. All this time that Asian guy is still in water and having fun and we left after all that drama.

Around 12.30pm I got a call from the guy from the reception and he told me that they went to the Asian guy and told him that they had a chat with Asian guy and he wont do it again. Yes this was there solution, Yes even with a big swimming center which is through council and had atleast 100 people there at the time of this incident that's who they deal with abuse against women.

I am not satisfied with their problem solving agenda. I had to run to different people to tell them the same story again and again and still all they did was nothing. He should have been spoken to right away when I reported abuse, as even one of the staff member was there when this all happened. But unfortunately, there is no such rules in place in Gesac, they didn't even asked the guy to leave, which in many companies is done.

After getting home I contacted some Women Help lines and legal lines but sadly there is nothing we can do if we suffer through such situation. So basically if you abused in public that best you can do it defend yourself and tell the abuser off, like what I did in my situation.

 

One more thing which can be done is call Police, yes in order to find a solution to this solution I called police and told them what happened and the reply I got was that I can give a written complaint to Gesac that I feel the situation was not dealt properly or next time if something like this happens than instead of wasting my time to call staff at Gesac (who did nothing), call Police.

 

I hope this wont happen again, but also abit relieved that what my daughter learned that day is to not accept abuse in anyway. She learned to raise hand against such incidents and not to be afraid of rude people. I am a Muma bear, I will always protect her and will support her.

 

Always stand for abuse against you or anyone, I felt alittle hearbreak that even in a big place like Gesac no one stood by me that day, which I will definitely do if someone goes through the same thing. Remember it could happen to anyone anywhere, so help others and stand by them if you see someone is experiencing abuse.

 

This is all based on True Incident.

 

Thank you for reading. :)