Violence against Women, Still a Long way to go...

We entered 2016 two months ago, its a high technology time where time is money and technology help us save our time. Even though in this high tech time we lack in some social issues, specially with women. We have accomplished solutions to many social problems but still one aspect that needs more awareness is Abuse against Women. I have been a Domestic Violence victim before, so know how it feels like to be in trap and scared. Luckily I escaped and now I am away from all the traps and that suffocation relation. But last week something happened which made me realize that even though we have raised a lot of awareness about DV, but still abuse is something that can happen to any women anywhere, anytime. It can happen even at a very crowded place like it happened to me with a total stranger and only I stood for myself and my daughter, not even a single person came and helped. I know what you must be thinking, that's what I think as well when I see all those videos done by people showing how one person is pretending to be abused and public comes and help.

Trust me that happened to me and not even a single person from public came to help and tell the rude person off who was verbally abusing me because I am a woman. Yes that was a Sexism abuse, and what made that guy more mad was that I told him to stop it. Let me take you through the whole incident.

 

Date:- 26/2/2016

Time:- 11 am (approximately)

Place:- GESAC

We were having some water play in the play area in Gesac, all of the sudden this Asian guy came and screamed at my daughter in a very rude and high voice because apparently some water got splashed at his son, which was not even intentional and I must mention his Son was fine, happy and enjoying. As my daughter was only a second away from me I quickly went to her and told that guy to not to talk to my daughter like that. His reply was straight away that what do I know as I am a F***** B**** as I am a Woman. To tell you the truth I was shocked for a minute as I had my child with my and so did he and still he was swearing in public place with lots of families.

I told him to mind his language, but he was talking like if he has learned only swearing in his school days. While telling him off I quickly raised my hand for the nearby staff so they can come and do something about this rude and racist guy. I could see so much hate on that Asian guy's face which I am sure was due to the fact that I am an Indian, Woman and on top I told him off for his rude behavior. The staff who came was a teenage boy and he called the Duty Manager. Even in front of the Staff he was still abusing me and calling me an idiot, which clearly showed he had no ethics or what so ever etiquettes. I felt pity on his son and could see what kind of future he will give to his son. When he saw the Duty manager he went back to water with his son, away from us asif he knew no one will do anything about it, and that's exactly what happened.

I complained to the Duty Manager about this incident, and the reply I got was that he will keep an eye on him. I was even more shocked at the way Gesac reacted on this incident was like nothing happened. Still me being upset as I didn't had in my plan for that day to be abused, screamed and sweared at, I went to the reception to complaint to someone in management. When I told the guy on the reception the whole thing he went inside and came back in not even a minute and told me that someone is going to have a look at it and will resolve it, and I told him I want them to take action and let me know the result or I will call Police. All this time that Asian guy is still in water and having fun and we left after all that drama.

Around 12.30pm I got a call from the guy from the reception and he told me that they went to the Asian guy and told him that they had a chat with Asian guy and he wont do it again. Yes this was there solution, Yes even with a big swimming center which is through council and had atleast 100 people there at the time of this incident that's who they deal with abuse against women.

I am not satisfied with their problem solving agenda. I had to run to different people to tell them the same story again and again and still all they did was nothing. He should have been spoken to right away when I reported abuse, as even one of the staff member was there when this all happened. But unfortunately, there is no such rules in place in Gesac, they didn't even asked the guy to leave, which in many companies is done.

After getting home I contacted some Women Help lines and legal lines but sadly there is nothing we can do if we suffer through such situation. So basically if you abused in public that best you can do it defend yourself and tell the abuser off, like what I did in my situation.

 

One more thing which can be done is call Police, yes in order to find a solution to this solution I called police and told them what happened and the reply I got was that I can give a written complaint to Gesac that I feel the situation was not dealt properly or next time if something like this happens than instead of wasting my time to call staff at Gesac (who did nothing), call Police.

 

I hope this wont happen again, but also abit relieved that what my daughter learned that day is to not accept abuse in anyway. She learned to raise hand against such incidents and not to be afraid of rude people. I am a Muma bear, I will always protect her and will support her.

 

Always stand for abuse against you or anyone, I felt alittle hearbreak that even in a big place like Gesac no one stood by me that day, which I will definitely do if someone goes through the same thing. Remember it could happen to anyone anywhere, so help others and stand by them if you see someone is experiencing abuse.

 

This is all based on True Incident.

 

Thank you for reading. :)

Blogger Mum's Weekend

It is Sunday today, luckily I woke up a bit late as my little one decided to sleep for a little longer. I was looking forward to this weekend to being a nice relaxing one. But ever since i have started planning this weekend it didn't look like I would be having a relaxed one. I started with calling a family friend who has been asking me to make some time to see them. But people being the people they are, when you make some time to see them, then they somehow take it for granted that you are available whole day. Excuse me, do I look like a person who has no work or other commitments? If that's what you had in mind about me then please go and be friends with someone else. As friendship only survives with respect and understanding, and in your case it doesn't look like you cherish any of those.

Me and my little one had a great Saturday, thanks to those people who first asked to see me and when I said yes let's catchup, then said sorry we don't have time. I spent my whole day with my darling girl friend and we had an awesome day. Did I mention I got my hair done? I got hair color after 4-5 years. Another advantage of being mum, you stop taking care of yourself and which is good in a way, as I stopped coloring my hair which is good for my hair as they damage hair. I am happy with the color, but did have to give myself a few days to get used to, as my eyes were used to see my natural hair from so long. Luckily, the feedback I got from few people was nice, so I am happy with the change. Sometimes we just want to change something just to break free in the normal life. And in my mummy life it usually revolves around my little one's needs and I must admit just like other mums I have ignored myself a lot.

Few days ago I read an article on yahoo about mothers risking their life, but ignoring themselves and putting other family member needs before them. Females are powerful human beings, in India they told us that that female is Goddess and we should respect and care for them. But unfortunately, these days we hear lots about women being a victim of Domestic violence. Some people think that only hitting someone is DV, thats not true. It includes verbal, mental, emotional and financial abuse as well. Like by not allowing someone to go somewhere and some do it very cleverly , instead of saying I don't want you to go, they usually play with your emotions by saying things like I don't like the way that person treats me or I don't feel comfortable with that person. As they know you being in love with them would leave that third person aside. Like many other women i have also been a victim of that. And after doing all the mean things men call themselves bigger person. But the truth is that a woman will do everything and still be down to earth. I must say not all men are like that but I am talking about those few who are abusers.

I wish one day I can do a course or open up a refuge to help women and kids in need. I hear all these people talking about women empowerment. And the funniest thing is when people who didn't want to help me in my bad days talk about women empowerment and how we all should stand together and raise awareness and help women. It makes me like them lesser and lesser. If someone you know is in trouble then you dislike them and talk behind their back. And now when everyone else is talking about helping women then you are also repeating it as a parrot for praise. 

My dear reader friends. Don't be afraid or feel judged by such people. Look at yourself. You have the power and courage to make everything possible for yourself and your little one. And trust me when within a few years you will be back to top then those people will come back. But then you would no longer need them and that will teach them a lesson that What Goes Around Comes Around. 

Have a lovely lovely weekend. Xx